Thursday, March 9, 2017

Why Cant I Kick This Bad Habit

Against my better judgement I asked my mom if she and my dad wanted to join us next week for Genesis 10th birthday. Why did I invite her? Well, its pretty easy to explain. Because Im desperate. Im am always desperate for people to remember Genesis. I absolutely hate that 99% of my family doesn't mention her. And that equates to not remembering her to me. I have invited some family to come next week and only one person, my brother of course, said he would be there. I mean, I get that its harder because its during the week and people work. I get that aspect. My amazing brother asked for time off work from BOTH his jobs to be there. Like... Wow. Im beside myself with gratitude that he would go that far. I realize not everyone can afford to do that. But these people that declined to come also didn't join my random acts of kindness virtual event. I mean is it really that hard to do something nice and say you participated? They also refused to say "oh but ill stop by her stone on the weekend" or give any sort of alternative option to show they are supporting me and care. That's what gets me. I actually had one person said they would not "attend" aka do anything nice that day in memory of Genesis. And this was a BLM. Id really hate to think she is really that cold but there is always the chance she didn't actually read what the event was about. Either way, her doing that did sting a little. 

Anyway, when mentioning it to my mom her initial response was "oh, um, well we have plans that evening." Then when I went on to tell her were were going out to lunch afterwards her tone changed and she sounded more upbeat and said "oh how fun!" I know exactly how they think. She liked the idea of going to lunch at a place that is a family favorite rather than remember her granddaughter 10 years after she passed. By the end of my conversation I told her... well let me know what you decide. I sort of hope she says she's not coming because I cant stand fakes. My dad didn't even remember Genesis' name last time they came and he actually wrote G's name on the balloon. smh. 

I just cant believe a decade later Im till begging people to remember her. I truly fear the day I die will be the last day people will mention her name. My eyes are watering now even just thinking about it. 

2 comments:

Shauna said...

Tiffany, I so relate to your post. I long for people to just remember Janessa--to just mention her name, instead they tell me to keep myself busy and not think about "it" on her angel b-day! Makes me so mad. It meant the world to me to receive your email remembering Janessa and Genesis will always have a special place in my heart and I will be remembering her and doing an act of service on her 10th b-day. ((Hugs))

Tiffany said...

I hope her b day was gentle on you. And thank you! It means so much to me to have people participate in the random acts of kindness on 3/16. I'd love to hear about your act of kindness.

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