Monday, January 16, 2017

Feeling it

In the last week, there have been a few instances where I am suddenly filled with sadness. The tears have filled my eyes until they could hold no more. The tears just flowed. And I knew exactly why. 

Its that time of year again. 

Where new years resolutions are quickly replaced by hearts and flowers for Valentines Day.

And yes, in some places you will already see the rainbows, pots of gold and clovers for St. Patricks Day.

YES. ST. PATRICKS DAY.

I still cant believe yet another is approaching. 

Not just any, but her 10th birthday.

I feel like a decade is some sort of milestone. I try to reflect back at how far I have come and yet how part of me haven't moved an inch in 10 years. It's so very hard to describe. 

I thought I would have a bigger "celebration" or Im not sure what to call it.... but I though that somehow I would do something bigger than just go to see her at her stone. I mean I will for sure do that but I feel like 10 years needs to be even more special. I just don't know how. Ive casually mentioned to my mom that Id like for her and my dad to be there. They are currently selling their home and this is the week they need to leave so I was sort of brushed off. I honestly doubt they will remember. I asked my sister to go, but she is working. Genesis birthday lands on a Thursday this year. My brother did tell me that he would be there and I cannot tell you how much that truly means to me. But honestly, Im not sure how to do anything bigger. I mean.. its not like people will come. I have so little support. But anyway... Im not sure what the days events will bring just yet. All I know is that I need to get started in ordering her balloons and flowers. 

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