Thursday, November 26, 2015

Another turkey day

Today is thanksgiving. I also happen to be 40 weeks and 2 days. N isn't budging so we are going in tonight for an induction. I must admit it's not the birth I invisioned. No I wasn't pressured by my ob. She's perfectly ok letting me go to 41 weeks but I can't do that. Maybe it's the blm in me but my nerves cannot risk it. 

Today also marks 9 years that I found out I was a mama for the first time. I saw that positive pregnancy test and was shocked. Even though we were trying I didn't think it would happen so fast. It's even more meaningful that I'm going to start the process of N being born on this day in the very same hospital her sister was born at.

When I check in I'm going to ask if I can visit the room she was born in. I've not been back since she was born. I hope no one is using it. Id like to get a couple photos if possible. It truly is coming full circle. 

Please send prayers and white light to make sure N makes it earth side safely. And that both she and I are doing well afterwards.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

So very close

Hello Novemeber. Usually November is one of those months that I don't really look forward to... It starts my BLM calendar all over again and this Novemeber starts the 9th year for me... But this time it is bittersweet.

N is almost here! My due date is in just a matter of days. The finish line is in sight and I'm so ready to meet her. Today at my doctor appointment I saw the telltale signs that thanksgiving is just around the corner... The day that started it all for me back in 2006. I have both Genesis and N on the mind right now. We even drive past Genesis garden today. I feel bad for not being able to visit her special place for often but she is never far from my mind and heart. 

Even though I'm so close... Just a matter of days from meeting N, I worry something might happen. I get anxious at decreased movements. My mind wonders why labor and delivery will be like. Worried some complication may come up. Something unexpected. I hate how I can't just accept at this point that I will be bringing home a healthy baby girl in a couple weeks. 
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