Tuesday, March 24, 2015

More Lost Journal Entries

I came across an old journal and found an some entries relating to Genesis and being pregnant with my first rainbow D.


Journal~                                                 7/29/2007
        Today was my original due date with Genesis and the baby inside me isn't her. This weekend was bitter sweet. No matter how many children I go on to have, none of them will ever replace her. She is our number one! Love you always! Im approx 4 weeks 2 days pregnant. Im gonna call tomorrow to make a dr appointment. The day I found out I was pregnant I was feeling real morning sickness but it hasn't hit me since, so maybe it was just my nerves from finding out. We will see though because I didn't get sick last time till around 8 weeks. We will see. In a weird way I hope I do have morning sickness, but obviously not because I want to be sick, but because then it will give me the sense that everything is alright. Ill keep you posted.

Love Genesis & my new baby,

Tiffany

PS. My EDD is 4/4/2008... there is still a good chance we might have another March baby if it comes early. 



Reading my old entries takes me right back. And it also gives me so much perspective on how much I have grown. I could really feel it on Genesis birthday. This year I didn't shed one tear. Im not sure exactly why. I feel my grief has evolved once again. That doesn't mean I don't ever cry. Today I drove through Pasadena and right by the doctors office where Dr. Devore used to be and I had a flash back of that horrible day we got the terrible news about Genesis. I remember my then husband having to pull over the car because we just all had to cry. No, not cry... we were sobbing. Having that flash back in my mind made my eyes fill with tears. 

God I miss her.

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