Friday, October 10, 2014

Capture Your Grief: Day 10

Support
It's no secret that I have hardly any support in my life. Plenty of it on the Internet, but hardly any in real life. The one person who went through it with me left. The other close family member who I went to for support straight up told me to get over it and stop talking "about it". For the record I will never stop speaking her name.

However I found support in an unexpected place. My brother Stefan was young when it happened but as he got older he understood more of what I was going through. He was the only one besides myself at the time who connected to Genesis like I did/do. He remembers her always. He always includes her in the number of nieces he has. He speaks her name. He visits her stone with and without me. He can feel her presence. His love and support meant and means the world to me.

My most recent supporter is my amazing husband Marlon. And he was placed at a big disadvantage. Here he was marrying me, this single mom of 2 here on earth and 1 in paradise. He never met her. Didn't see her. Never kissed her. But he loves her just as he loves the rest of the kids. He counts her as his daughter, after all had she been here he would be as much her daddy as he is my rainbows. He speaks her name, even gets winks from her, remembers her and let's me speak about her whenever I want without judgement. He never tells me that he's heard me say the same thing before. He listens and learns more about the daughter he never got to know. 

The support of these two guys is amazing. Im blown away! And whenever anyone else talks about her, comes to the park on her birthday or joins me on a walk it also means a lot to me. My sister Crystal and her husband have also shown their support. I'm just so grateful. I hope people still do this with the kids after I'm long gone. 

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