Saturday, August 2, 2014

An anniversary and a reminder

7/29, last Tuesday, was Genesis' EDD. She should have been born this date 7 years ago. Funny, I almost forgot the date. I happened to check an email and saw the date and remembered. 

I wasn't sad. It's just a reminder of what should have been. 

And today while browsing Facebook I saw this post:
                                             
Anencephaly. Yup. Genesis.
I clicked on the comments and the first comment I see is this: 
                                           
I can tell it's a fellow BLM by the profile picture of Carly's names in the sand. She specifically mentioned topamax. The drug I was on before I got pregnant with Genesis. Somehow I just know this blm lost a daughter to the same condition I lost mine too. I was. It expecting to see this. It tugged at my heartstrings just a bit. Made me miss her a bit more. I felt that familiar pain deep in my heart that has laid dormant for some time.

Just for a moment... I felt it again. 

It's never really gone. It's always worth me. In the depths of my soul. Sleeping. Waiting for something to awaken it again so that it stirs in my heart, soul and mind for however long it wants to. 

I'm convinced it's part of my DNA now. 

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