As we arrived to the Paramount Studios lot, I saw the water tower and almost directly above it in the clouds I saw the outline of a heart. Here is the picture of that.
Most certainly a wink :)
On to the good stuff. Return to Zero LA premiere. The first movie about stillbirth. The only lifetime movie to have a worldwide debut. The only premiere to have all the stars attend. And they have even requested that it be eligible for Emmy nomination. This is an incredible feat for an independent film. And big kudos to lifetime for taking a risk and accepting this. I know plenty of others turned it down because of it's taboo nature.
It was an awesome opportunity to see all the glitter and jazz of the red carpet and celebrities. But it was an even more incredible experience watching this movie and meeting the incredible Carly Dudley for a second time! I feel so blessed!
As for the movie, I'm happy to say it was an accurate description of the things we as baby loss parents have to deal with, from all stages. From the naive thoughts prior to loss, to those terrible words that your baby has died, to labor and delivery, to keepsakes, to life after loss, stupid things people say, how relationships are affected and so much more. The acting was incredible. It's really hard to ask someone to play this role and accurately depict what we as real baby loss parents have experienced and I have to say Minnie Driver and Paul Adelstein hit the nail on the head. This is real, this is raw, this is true life. It wasn't all sadness and gloom, but some humor as well. It has it's ups and downs just as we do in real life.
It was an amazing evening afterwards with a reception and the stars mingling with us all. No security or people telling you to stay away from them. I just know they knew how important this film was to us and they gave us the opportunity to thank them directly.
I highly suggest watching this when it airs in your area. I am going to record it as well. Share this as much as you can. The bigger deal we make about it the more those walls making stillbirth a taboo subject are taken down, and it helps in that Emmy nomination. Have plenty of tissues ready and skip the mascara ;)
Here are some photos from last night:
|Directer Sean Hanish|
|The lovely Carly|
I also have to give a special shout out to my amazing husband Marlon. He does not know first hand what it's like to be a baby loss parent. However, he is my biggest supporter. He acknowledges that had Genesis been here today, he would have been her daddy too. So he does consider himself her dad. He understands what I go through daily and how I see life and why I am the way I am because he listens to me, let's me talk about her and my experiences, he remembers her and speaks her name often and visits her stone in the park even when I'm not there. It was amazing to be able to bring him along with me to the premiere. Each movie he watches about child loss or about stillbirth helps him understand better. So thank you for your love and support baby, it means the world to me. And you are an amazing father to Genesis too. Being a parent to a child that is no longer here may be even harder. I love you.
And speaking of winks there is one more. At the end of the film during the end credits there was a list of baby names. Many blms had paid to get their child's name listed. I wish I could have afford it but it simply was just too expensive for us. I randomly took a photo of these credits and this is the photo:
Do you see what I see? Apparently the names are listed in alphabetical order by last name. So when I took this, they were in the "D" section. I happened to take a photo of Christian Dudley's name! How amazing! And had I been able to list genesis name, she would have been here too! As a matter of fact I see a De Leon in the list! Genesis Magali De Leon.
One last wink or at least something odd that happened today that could be something or maybe nothing... I was leaving the house to pick up D from school and I went to reach for the door just as the photo below shows and as you can see the door was clearly locked in the door knob. Yet when I reached for it, the door opened by itself without me touching it, no wind pushing it, and while it was locked. Very very weird. Maybe her? Not sure. But I thought it was worth mentioning.