Monday, January 6, 2014

Appointment update

Once again I was sitting in this waiting room for what I felt like an eternity. With every minute I was sitting there my stomach got tied tighter and tighter in knots.

Then they called my name.

They directed me to a room where I waited for the doctor.

I must say that I have not seen dr.devore in the longest. The previous visits, even with rainbow #1 and #2, another male doctor had done the ultrasound. It's still dr.devores practice but I assumed he handed the practice to one of his many sons. After all dr. Devore looked quite old.

So once again I expected the younger Devore to show up. When the door opened in walked dr. Devore sr. The original doctor Devore. 

The same older man. With the same balding head with sparse white hairs. The same blue eyes looking at me... The same everything, that told me exactly 6 years, 10 months ago... That Genesis condition was not compatible with life.

As soon as I saw him enter my heart skipped a beat. "Something must be wrong if they sent him in." This is what was going through my head. I tried to stay upbeat during the actual ultrasound. Even though all I could think about is the last time this man placed that wand on my belly he told me my child would die. He once again did the ultrasound just as rough as always. Pushing down so hard it hurt. He was still void of an actual personality. He had slightly more conversation than before but he was still more textbook than human.

Dr. Devore is what I would call an alarmist. But he does so to protect himself due to liability. He rather tell someone that something may be wrong and you have a healthy baby than to tell someone everything is fine and then something happen. 

With each rainbow pregnancy before he had told me that something MIGHT be wrong. Which caused me such worry through the remainder of each pregnancy.

This time however, I got lucky. I was 3 for 3. At all 3 appointments they have told me everything is ok. No if ands or buts. I am so thankful for that. I can now rest assured that nothing will pop up in terms of abnormalities. Of course I know that anything can happen until D2 is in my arms so I am still not at a point where I can say for sure I'm bringing home a healthy baby boy. Of course my odds get better everyday, but I know better than to get cocky now. I certainly hope for the best. 

I can't tell you what it's worth to me knowing I will not have to return to that office again for this pregnancy.

Will I ever return again for any future pregnancies? That is the big question...


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