Sunday, January 12, 2014

A wonderful opportunity with an unexpected reaction

I was contacted a few days ago by Hallie who represents a company called Jewelry Keepsakes. They specialize in cremation urns and memorial jewelry. She asked if I was willing to critique their product. 

Being that this was specifically related to what this blog is about: documenting life after the passing of my daughter. Documenting feelings, events... really just anything Genesis related, I felt it was fitting. I know many a BLM that has memorial jewelry and those that have yet to find that perfect piece to remember their child. 

I was given the opportunity to choose any piece of jewelry that they offer. They had hundreds of different choices. Their website claims to have over 1000 pieces to choose from. 

Hallie mentioned that she had a fondness to the photo engraved keepsakes and first pointed me in that direction. They were absolutely beautiful. However, as many of you know, I have but one photo of Genesis. A photo that I choose to keep private. Although I see the beauty in the one priceless photo I have of her, I know many have their own opinions of a photo of a child taken after they have passed. Unfortunately since she was stillborn, I didnt have the luxury of having a photo of her alive. So I didnt feel the photo engraved keepsake was an option for me as I didnt want to have that photo out in public. Even if it was around my neck. She completely understood and was very accommodating encouraging me to find something that spoke to me.


So I browsed the site and was waiting for that one piece to jump out at me. And I found it. This was what spoke to me. {pictured left} This is an urn pendant which is something I have never had nor had found one before that was as beautiful as this. According to the website, this initial "G" is rose gold over silver. It holds a pinch of ashes inside the jewelry urn and comes with the supplies you need to seal it. It also comes with a variety of different chain lengths. I choose the 30 inch {longest option} as I like to layer necklaces. 

Hallie was so very nice to rush out my delivery and provided overnight shipping. It arrived yesterday afternoon. 

If you recall, Genesis was originally placed in the urn the mortuary placed her in. I blogged about it here. Then on her 5th birthday I blogged about how I had some of her ashes moved to a new urn. The beautiful butterfly urn that I blogged about here. It was that same blog post where I also mentioned that I sprinkled some of her ashes at Garfield Park so that any time I would visit her stone I was literally visiting a piece of her as well. Even after placing her ashes in both these locations, I still had some extra left over which I decided to leave in the original urn that I was given. It came in handy for this very special piece of jewelry.


When it arrived it came with everything as promised. The 30 inch rose gold chain, the instructions on how to add the ashes and all the tools needed to do so. It was very easy to follow. And the actual pendant was gorgeous! It was even more stunning in person. It was absolutely stunning and perfect for my little girl. I had always wanted rose gold and this was my first piece. It definitely did not disappoint. The pendant and the chain felt very sturdy. Not cheaply made. It did suggest you wait 24 hours after sealing before you wear it. And not to get it wet.

However, there was one thing that I wasnt prepared for. How it would affect me emotionally. I was fine until I went and got her original urn and opened it up. I saw the bag inside containing some of her ashes. Previously I had never really looked at it. I had the mortuary transfer some ashes to her butterfly urn and I sort of just sprinkled the ashes out of the bag when I spread her ashes at Garfield Park. This was the very first time I had to look a it so that I could get a little pinch out for the pendant. As I looked at this bag filled with grey dust and a paper with Genesis name on it, I noticed something. Not all of the dust was a fine powder. There were some clumps in there. I figured it was just clumps of ash here and there. Well that was not entirely true. As I examined the bag I saw bones. Yes. Her tiny baby bones. Im no biology major so I dont know what all these bones were from, but I distinctly saw a small rib bone. I was not prepared for this. I supposed as the more fine ashes were removed from the top of the bag before and now left the heavier items behind. And now since there was so little left in the bag it was even more noticeable. At first I didnt think that I could do it. I had to take a minute to breathe and pull myself together and just do this. I was able to get a small spoon and try to grab the finest powder I could. I placed it in the provided funnel to fill the pendant but noticed even that was a bit too thick. I had to use the provided tooth picks to help push it through the funnel and into the urn. It took about 3 tries because it kept getting clogged. 

I was surprised at how much actually fit in the urn. The website said "a pinch" and thats exactly what I would call it. It wasnt very much but it was perfect for what I needed. As soon as I sealed it and put away the remaining ashes back in her original urn I just cried. My husband came by and he didnt ask any questions. He just knew it was hard for me. He just held me and let the tears fall. 

I cant tell you the odd feeling it is to be doing this in my kitchen while D and G were in the other room watching TV and I had D2 kicking in my tummy. I had my living children so close to me and their sisters ashes in my hands while doing this. It's a terrible feeling. But I love that it was for such a good cause. And now I have this beautiful piece of jewelry that speaks to me and is another way for me to physically have her with me. I think that I will wear this for our upcoming maternity shoot. That way all my kids will be present.

One thing that stood out to me was the timing of this wonderful opportunity. I am just a few weeks away from meeting my 4th child. When I was still in the hospital after giving birth to G, I received an email that I won a contest from another memorial jewelry company which I cannot recall the name. But it seems that for the last two rainbows Genesis has made her presence known by perhaps contributing to these wonderful gifts around the time of her siblings birth. Id like to think of it as a wink.

1 comments:

Hannah Rose said...

This is so special, Tiffany! I am so glad you have this piece of jewelry for your girl. It is beautiful. I love the idea of wearing it in your family photos so you can all be in them. :) If Lily had been cremated, I would love to have done something like this. I am sure this experience with her ashes was very difficult... I am just so sorry. Sending you love and hugs <3

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