Monday, January 6, 2014

3rd times the charm?

Today is the day.

The day for what, you may ask.

I am going back for my 3rd (and hopefully final) time to see good ol dr. devore. As I always say, I absolutely hate going there. All the flash backs, all the worries, all the possibilities of what they could find and tell me all hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is the only pregnancy in which I have been there so many times and no one can tell me why when there have been no issues or the sign of the possibility something is wrong. 

Yet here I go again to this godforsaken office. 

I can feel the worry and nerves building up inside. My appointment isn't until 3:45 so I have pretty much all day today to work myself up into a frenzy. Sigh. 

I feel like everything is fine, but just being in that office scares me to death.

Every time I am sitting in that waiting room I am praying for D2 to move and kick so that I know he is ok. As I lay waiting on that bed waiting for him to start the ultrasound I get very anxious. And them minute he picks up the ultrasound machine I tense up holding my breath wondering if he will pick up a heartbeat. Then once he sees the heartbeat I wonder if he will tell me that something doesn't look good. I tell ya, its just nonstop worry until I walk out of that office. 

So I will be back later to update on the appointment. Wish us luck.

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