Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Why can't I just be a normal pregnant lady

I had an OB appointment yesterday. Usually at this point in pregnancy all my OB appointments consist of measurements, asking if I have any questions and listening the the heartbeat with the doppler. 

To my surprise they had me go into the ultrasound room. At first I was glad that I got to see D2 again and possibly get some pictures if he cooperated. But the longer I waited in that room for the doctor to come in the more my mind began to fill with thoughts. 

"Why am I having an ultrasound at this gestation?"

"Why didn't she mention at my last appointment that I would be having an ultrasound today?"

"At my last appointment she was hinting at the baby's position and how she 'didn't know how she was going to deliver the baby yet'. Could this ultrasound be another scare tactic to hint once again at a c-section?"

"There must be something she hasn't told me… maybe she suspects something is wrong."

So all these thoughts and more flooded my head. Of course she came in and asked if I had any questions and my main question was why am I having an ultrasound but I just let it be as I would probably be getting my answer soon anyway. Of course the ultrasound was to get measurements and everything looked great just as before. So it was a good appointment. But As I left the office I realized I was the last patient for the day.

I cannot tell you how much I hate being saved for last. I mentioned several times in this blog that's what Dr. Devore did when he gave me Genesis fatal diagnosis. It just brings back horrible memories and fears.

Speaking of good ol Dr. Devore, I need to schedule an appointment to see him in 2 weeks. Again another red flag in my head. I have never had to see him in any of my past rainbow pregnancies this late in pregnancy. And when I asked my OB why Dr. Devore wanted me to come back her reply was "Im not sure, but he usually has a reason." Great. Now I am worried about that "reason".

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