Monday, October 7, 2013

Capture Your Grief~ Day 7


7. You Now: Where are you in your grief right now? How are you feeling? How far have you come? Are you wrestling with anything? Is your heart heavier or lighter now?

As of today I am 6 years, 6 months and 4 weeks out. How I feel is different everyday. Depends on what Im doing. Who I am with. Where I am at. What conversation takes place. Its all circumstantial. I feel I have come a long way. Much of the time I can speak her name to others and not cry. But if I am talking to family then the tears still flow freely. I never know when emotion will overcome me or not. It doesn't help now that I am pregnant again. Pretty much anything will make me tear up right now. Darn hormones. But I think for the most part my hear is lighter now, though at times it does become heavy, especially on her anniversaries. The only thing that I think I wrestle with is that family at times still does not remember her. They have their moments but I wish I didn't have to remind them. I also struggle with the fact that I should have daughters with me, and I don't. I hope there comes a time in my life where I can say that I have daughters to the fullest extent. 

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