Monday, October 14, 2013

Capture Your Grief~ Day 14

14. Family: What does you family look like now? Is it just yourself carrying your child’s heart in yours? Do you have other children? A partner? A pet? You may not have what society perceives as a family but we all know that just because you cannot see any children, that does not mean that they are not a part of your family.
I have come a long way since Genesis died. So has life. At the time I was married to my ex husband. Genesis was our first. Shortly after she died we decided to try again. We got pregnant in just two tries and within 2 weeks of finding out we were pregnant again he left me. Through the next few months we started the divorce process, and I had to get used to the thought of now being a single mom. Something I had never envisioned. Around my 5th month of pregnancy I lost my job and now I was an unemployed single mom to be. I was terrified. Somehow I made it and was unemployed until my first rainbow (D) was 7 months old. I finally had a job. I was able to stand on my own two feet and provide for my son and I. This taught me such strength and responsibility. As the months went on I was longing for another child. I decided to get pregnant on my own this time. Choosing to be a single mother this time around. I got pregnant using artificial insemination. It took a while for me to get pregnant compared to how fast it was for Genesis and D. I was beginning to think that this wasn't going to happen for me. So I really meditated about it and made it a matter of prayer. I said that I would try one last time and that if it was meant to be it would happen. If not I would give up. Well that was the month I got pregnant with my rainbow daughter (G). I finally had a living daughter. My dream came true. About a week after G was born my divorce with my ex husband was finally final. Yes it took forever. But it was done. So now it was just me and the two rainbows. It would be like this for several years. D would be 3 nearly 4, and G nearly 2, before I met Marlon. We started dating, fell in love and as you all know we got married earlier this year. And now we are expecting a third rainbow, a boy... D2. Much has changed. And our family has grown quite a bit.
Today I see us as a family of 6.

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