I have to say that at times it has been bitter sweet. This was the first time I have not been able to tell Abilla that she will be a grandmother. It makes me so sad that she isn't with us anymore. But somewhere somehow I know the universe has let her know the joyous news. Also the other day I saw a mama walking with her two daughters and I imagined for a split second what it might be to have "daughters" in the full sense. Sigh. Because of that part of me really hopes this is another girl so that I can finally live the life with daughters that I should of had. But I don't want to set myself up for let down if its a boy. And not to sound like Im not grateful for a boy if it happens to be one. I am happy with whatever the universe had blessed us with.
So far everything looks good. Baby will be due in Feb 2014 and is measuring big so it may come a bit earlier than anticipated.
I just cant believe that Im a mama of 4 now...not sure if I will ever count the chemical pregnancy as its not even 100% sure if it was a chemical.
And as always every time I am pregnant I have dreams of Genesis. Im not really sure why but I have had I think about 2 dreams so far about Genesis.
And of course this pregnancy isn't exempt from heartbreak either. Of course my family was very happy to hear the news but right away the first thing my mother said was "Now I have 6 grandchildren." Um no, this brings the number to 7. Sigh.