Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I cant help but think they are connected somehow...

Abilla and Genesis that is. Maybe its my grief for each of them that connects them. Im still not sure. Either way, this week so far has surprised me in terms of my grief. I have been weepy this week. Very emotional. In fact, right now as I type this I feel my eyes getting glossy because of the tears hiding behind my eyes. But that isn't the surprising part. It's the fact that I have been missing my grandmother Abilla very much this week. It's been more about her than Genesis the last few days. This surprised even me. 

I had a good cry in the shower yesterday and I afterwards I went out to the balcony to just get some air. It was beautiful weather yesterday and I was just enjoying that. Then I thought to myself, wouldn't it be wonderful if that pink headed hummingbird stopped by and gave me a wink. That way I would know someone... Abilla or Genesis, was stopping by to help make me feel better. And what do you know... within a minute or so I heard her call and she appeared. I was able to take a few photos too. Simply amazing.

Also another thing both Marlon and I have noticed. Remember this post? And how I mentioned I have a photo that I took with Abilla and some other family members and on the photo I put the locket I bought her when I was a child? This is a photo of what Im talking about:
So that locket hanging off the right side of the photo. Very often I see that the locket has been moved. It will fall to the right and fall off the front of the picture frame so that the heart is actually hanging behind the photo. Its as if someone may have touched it accidentally and it fell to the back. The first time Marlon actually accidentally knocked it off. But after that he knows for a fact that he didn't touch it. Its up high so this is something that the kids cannot do. But yet every so often we see that it has been moved. We both couldn't help but think that maybe its Abilla. I guess we will never really know. What I do know is that I miss her like crazy. And something astonishing happened too. I had a dream about Abilla the night before last. I dreamt that I was visiting the convalescent home she was at and in my dream I knew that she had died already. But then I walked into some sort of activity room and there she was. Sitting in her wheelchair, sleeping and slumped over a little. I couldn't believe my eyes that it was her. My heart skipped a beat and I rubbed my eyes and then when she woke up and looked up, it was another old lady. So I started to walk away but I turned around to get another look and she disappeared. I felt it was her. I tried to take a picture of her but the picture came out distorted. I knew in my heart it was her making her presence known. I love dreaming about her. So on facebook I posted that I had a dream about Abilla. Well one of my BLM friends commented that she had a dream about Abilla a few weeks ago. I was shocked! This is a BLM friend that I have never met in person. Someone that is across the globe from me, yet she got a visit from my grandmother! Here is her dream: 

"For some reason I was in town so I went looking for you. I climbed stairs to an apartment and found her waiting in the doorway. I asked where you were and she laughed and said you were "off getting proposed too." After that she was taken away on a gurney by paramedics. She wasn't upset or distressed or anything, she just laid down and let them take her away. I think this was my brain realising that Aibilla had died.  Sorry, didn't say anything earlier as I thought it might upset you. She seemed happy but impatient."

Hearing this just made me so happy. It is so so accurate it's scary. 


Mary said...

I totally believe these things are visits from Abilla!!!! You should read my latest blog entry. It is crazy similar!!!

I also believe that Abilla did visit your BLM. I have not only had visits from Micah, but also visits from my friend's children. She is also a BLM. I blogged about that about a year ago. Around Easter I think.

What a great gift these visits are!!!

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