As the title of this post says, I don't feel I am in a good place right now. Still coping with the death of my grandmother, dealing with the effects of my fathers drowning accident and more recently some things Im working out with Mr. M. I am a stressed ball of nerves.
But to add to this, this time of year is usually kind of hard for me too. October is a significant month for BLMs. So there is that. But then there is October 15th for the wave of light. October 15th is actually my nephews birthday. Just the thought of my nephew brings back bad memories and its sad because nothing is his fault. Even his pregnancy announcement was bad. I had just had Genesis and I was leaving the hospital. I wasn't even home yet, I was still in the car and the phone rang. It was my brother. He called to tell me that he and his wife were pregnant. He knew what happened and he still decided that right then and there was the best time to tell me they were blessed with a baby. Then of all days to be born they chose, yes chose because they had a c-section, October 15th. It just makes me sad. And because Genesis didn't live, my nephew was considered the first grandchild. Not her. Sad memories.