I came across a silly picture on the internet... you know this pictures that are shared on Facebook. Just random stuff. This is the picture I saw:
The part that got to me is the "1._____ i don't have a brain." Anencephaly.... Genesis, developed without most of her brain. So comments like these always sort of stand out to me and jab me. I sometimes wonder if Im just too sensitive about this. I mean its bad enough Im sensitive about other things too like this card that was making the rounds not too long ago:
I know many a BLM that was offended by that e-card. But am I gonna be one of those people that will just be offended with everything? Or maybe not even offended but bothered? There has to be a limit, ya know? Everything can't be about her. Or can it? I have no idea. I just feel like maybe others will feel like they are walking on egg shells around me because they know they can't joke about "no brain" or they can't say the "R" word. Or whatever else. <see how Im more concerned with others and how they feel as opposed to me, the one who actually had their child die...idk why we are forced to live this way. Its ridiculous>
There was another moment as well yesterday that again took a little jab at me. The lady of course had no idea. I had taken D to the dentist and I brought G with me too (I know, what was I thinking). After we were finishing up and I was signing papers at the front desk the lady looked at both my kids playing in the waiting room and she smiled at me and said "You have the perfect pair, a boy and a girl." I smiled and thanked her but nothing could be further from the truth. I know Ive mentioned it before. Perfect would be not having one of my children dead. But then my thoughts go even further. I want more kids too. So does that mean having any more kids won't be perfect? Ugh... see there I go again. I know I look too much into things... why do I let it bother me. And it doesn't really bother me. Its more of it reminds me of her. It makes me stop and think. You know? sigh.