Thursday, June 7, 2012

An unexpected conversation

Mr. M came over yesterday for dinner and a movie. We had a nice time like always and then it was time to for him to leave. He was looking at a shelf I have that has a photos of my kids. He suddenly asked me "where do you have Genesis' ashes?" This sort of caught me by surprise. I told them they were in the nursery. Then I asked if he wanted to see her urn. He said yes. I showed him the drawer I have all things Genesis. I opened my memory box and showed him her special urn. He seemed touched. Seeing her blanket in the memory box, and my Molly Bear for her and all sort of mementos in that box sort of caused me to tear up. Then as I walked him to his car I mentioned that I only had one photo of her. At first he didnt understand. He said "you mean like an ultrasound?" I clarified that this was the only and only picture I had of Genesis after she was born. I then explained how I longed for more photos. How I had taken the camera with me to the mortuary but couldn't bring myself to take any pictures and how it was the greatest regret of my life. I started to cry. I was afraid of what he may think seeing me cry. He simply pulled me close and hugged me. I wonder if this will ever get old to him.  Me crying over Genesis. It will never end. I mean sometimes I can speak her name and tell her story just fine, but sometimes I can't even finish the fist sentence. I think I will always have moments where I get choked up. I hope he never tires of that.

Also something I found interesting, we talk a lot. We ask silly hypothetical questions and ask what the other would do in crazy situations... so yesterdays scenario was what would he take with him if he ever got called to war. He said my pictures of course, but then he said something that really caught me by surprise. He said he would take Genesis' ashes. This really did come out of left field as this was before Genesis came up as the topic. He mentioned her all on his own. Im touched he would think of her like that. He knows how important she is to me and he is making Genesis important to him too. I am beyond moved by this. The words sort of escape me... but I think he is absolutely incredible. I am so so blessed.


fudbag said...

absolutely beautiful. that is all. <3

Hannah Rose said...

So sweet <3

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