I recently came across a website that had an interesting concept behind it. Its a place where people can anonymously share their secrets, whatever they may be. Some of them are shocking, surprising, a bit odd, funny and sad. Its one of these sad confessions/secrets that stabbed me in the heart this morning. I came across this one:
Seeing this literally made me hold my breath and sort of close my eyes and shake my head... because I knew all too well.
It's really a shame that we have to live with these secrets and feel we can't just speak freely about our feelings. We have to submit these confessions on websites like these or blog about it as I do here on my own blog because the world generally doesn't accept a grieving mother's thoughts.
But I too feel that I may have caused Genesis' condition somehow. I have previously posted about the connection between anti-seizure medications (Topamax) and neural tube defects like Anencephaly. I always wonder if she still would have had this had I not taken the medication. And though I wasn't on that medication long, and I didn't take it often, and I was not on it while ttc or while pregnant... I still feel it had a part. How could I not? Sigh.