Saturday, January 7, 2012

One of the reasons pregnancy and infant loss is such a taboo subject

I got my Good Housekeeping magazine in the mail the other day and finally had a moment to sit down and read through it today. Imagine my surprise when I flip through the pages and see the picture to the left. Naturally I have much to say on the topic.

First off, who is this "expert" who has all these answers? Come on, at best its just some random person's opinion. Second, is this person a man or a woman? Second, is this person a BLM? I dont know the answer to the first two questions but I sure as hell know the answer to the third. There is no way that this person has lost a child at any age or gestation if they are telling the public that A) Say nothing; some things are private is how you should react when you find out someone has lost a child. 

I posted this on my facebook to rally together some BLMs to write in about this. This is actually the WORST thing you can do. Does this sound familiar: 

"The mention of my child’s name might make me cry, not mentioning my child’s name will surely 
break my heart." Sara Weaver-Lundberg

I know we all cope differently with this, and there are a few women out there that dont bat an eyelash at having a miscarriage, but one thing I have seen is universal among the BLMs I have met. We appreciate anyone that recognizes and remembers the life of our child. Always. Even if it makes us cry, it also makes our heart glad. 

By having this is a magazine it's only further supporting the "just sweep it under the rug attitude". It only adds to the taboo. So anyway I mentioned I put it on my facebook page and of all people my sister had to comment on it. 

If you recall this is the sister that I only just found recently. She is my half sister. And she didnt even remember the brother that her mother had who was still born back when I mentioned it to her. She put her two cents about how she personally is a private person and wouldn't want to talk about it and such. I realize there probably are people out there that would react this way... but my problem with this is that she is NOT a BLM. Its easy to speculate how you may react if you went through this but truth is you have no idea until you actually have a dead child. I mentioned this, tactfully, and she basically replied with saying that maybe things out here in CA are done differently (not sure what that means) and that regardless she can still relate. Um no. Unless you have a dead child, you cannot relate. Period. You cant EVER relate, until it happens to you. Point blank. Why must people who dont have a clue about this need to comment on it and make it about them? 


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