Thursday, June 30, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 30

Day 30- Your favorite song

I dont think I really have a favorite song. I like lots of types of music. Just no country or heavy metal.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 29

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

That mastitis is no joke! 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 28

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Eh, I really don't want to post another pic of myself. But in the last year I went from having a toddler and a newborn to a toddler and a small child. I really cant believe how fast the last year has passed. Really, it was a blur. I have really grown as a mother.

Also in other news... Many of you are curious about the age progression photos I posted about. The name of the group on facebook is In An Angel's Name. Click the name to be taken to the group. It's a closed group so you have to be approved to join.

Monday, June 27, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 27

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Ok, Im sort of getting tired of questions like these haha! I did it because I thought it would be fun.

Today is the day

My first niece is making her grand appearance into the world today. My sister-in-law's c-section is scheduled for noon today. What a mix of emotions. I am very excieted to be an aunt again and to my first ever niece. Im headed towards uncharted territory here. Then not to mention that they choose to have a c-section... my doula alarm is going off in my head ha ha! But that is neither here nor there. It is their choice to make, not mine. I however an very anxious that she is a girl. Nothing personal... all girl pregnancies do this to me, not just theirs. It's just a reminder of the pregnancy I had with my first girl that will never result in me being able to take her home with me. It's still a sore spot for me: even 4 years and 2 rainbows later. It's still there. I dont think it will ever really go away 100%. But for now I cope. I think its safe to say they are brining home a baby girl, though as we all know anything can still happen. I truly hope the best for them and pray that everything goes smoothly.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 26

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Ive already discussed the fact that I dont have very many friends. My BLMs are the best friends I have because they can relate to what I have become and they can offer the support they know I need. These beautiful ladies are a treasure. I love them so much and I dont know where I would be without them. For the few that are local, they mean even more to me. They are the most beautiful people I know, inside and out ad and are like diamonds in the rough to me.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 25

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

You really wanna know? Then check out my answer here from the last 30 day challenge.

Friday, June 24, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 24

Day 24- A letter to your parents

I've already done this a while ago. I just have nothing new to say to them. They know how I feel.

A glimpse

I have an incredible photo to post today. Let me start at the beginning. I had mentioned a while ago about a site that does age progression photos. Some mamas have chosen to get pictures done of their babies to see what they may have looked like either as a term infant, a toddler, a teen and an adult. I often think of what she would have looked like too. I had even played with the idea of getting one of these photos but they are seriously expensive and I just thought it wasn't worth it to me, especially since money isn't really in abundance right now.

So yesterday someone added me to a group on Facebook that does exactly this... AND FOR FREE for all BLMS! And they are professionals! What a gift! I instantly accepted their generous offer. They asked for Genesis photo along with photos of the rainbows at various ages, and pics of myself and my ex husband. This was a little difficult as I don't have many pictures of my ex husband and I only have one photo of Genesis. She was still able to take our family features and make a photo of what Genesis may have looked like as a full term baby. I'd like to share that photo with you.

Let me start off by saying that she looks nothing like I thought she would. But that's not a bad thing. I can see my rainbows features. G's forehead and eyes. D's nose, lips and eyebrows. Just amazing. looking into the eyes of my daughter for the first time. Wow. This is only a glimpse of how beautiful she will be in the new system. It just brings me to tears. She is also gonna do one for me on how Genesis would have looked now at 4 years old. I can't wait to see it.

I so wanted to share the latest addition to Carly's Butterfly Beach. The Rainbow Beach Butterfly.

I saw this yesterday and just had to have it. Genesis and 2 rainbows. Couldn't be more perfect.

I wanted to update that I just got Genesis 4 year picture. I am at a loss for words, so I will let the photo do the talking.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I love winks

I just got a little wink right now. I just spoke to a merchant at work with the name Genesis in their business name. I have never heard of this company before and to just see her name on my screen made me smile. Love it when those little winks appear.

30 day challenge: Day 23

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Hmm the wording of this topic is throwing me off a bit. I don't know about crave, but there are two things I really want. The first, of course I want Genesis back. I want her back with every cell within me. I wish I could hold her, kiss her, hear her voice, see her smile, gaze into her eyes, have my whole family here together. Whole. Just be complete and happy.

The other thing that I want is a partner. Being a single mom is all sorts of wonderful but also all sorts of lonely. I have so much to give and I hope to find the right person to give it to in the future.

A little magic

On my drive to work today something sort of magical happened. While driving through the dark freeway I suddenly was surrounded by hundreds of floating white papers. Not sure what they were from, perhaps a truck dropped them or crashed and left them scattered on the freeway. Im also not sure what these papers were. They looked like loose tissues. As the cars drove through them it caused them to fly all through the air, up very high and come floating down. And as more cars drove past them the wind picked them up again. Since it was dark still the light of the cars headlights bounced off these floating papers and almost made them glow in the darkness. Driving through them was sort of like being in a snow globe. Really beautiful.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 22

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

A few things I guess.
1. Being a BLM. Yes, baby/ child loss happens to A LOT of women but its such a isolating and devastating event that forever changes you. And no two losses are exactly the same

2. My religious beliefs and hope for the new system.

3. Being a single mom. Out of all the different types of moms out there the single mom is probably one of the hardest roles there are. You really have no idea until you are one. Ive heard of married women saying they are going to be a single mom for X amount of time because their husbands are going overseas for deployment or for work. And I sympathize being apart from your love, however that doesn't even come close to being a single mom. While you are alone with the kids waiting for your husband to come back he is sending you checks in the mail. The single mom however doesn't have anyone coming back. Ever. There are no checks in the mail. It is only "me, myself and I" every. single. day. Working my butt off all day only to get off work exhausted and to work some more. Then there are the sleepless nights where there is no one to help with the kids because once again its "me, myself and I". And all this on one measly income that hardly makes ends meet. Now don't think that I am complaining in this post, because I'm not. They are simply the facts. I have a new found admiration for single moms because I have seen first hand what we must go through. So next time you see a single mom, tell her she is doing an awesome job. She needs to hear it.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 21

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
That's a no brainer. My kids. For privacy reasons I will not be posting their photos here. But they are the air that I breath and the purpose of my life and for being here. I love them all with every ounce in my body and ever fiber that makes me whole.

Monday, June 20, 2011

New stuff

I wanted to share with you all a new project of mine. Ive been inspired by the works of other BLMs and of course Genesis and have put together some artwork to create cards and other printed art pieces of the sort. Id like for you to check out my gallery of artwork here. But here is a peak of a couple of my favorite pieces so far. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. {please do not copy these images. If you would like to purchase them please follow the above link}

I have also added the shop to the left <--- in the banner where you can preview my other work as well. 

I also wanted to share that I have opened my own Etsy Shop with all my little projects I have been working on. Check out some of my favorites.
Healing Stone

Tranquility Stone Set
Custom Ornament
I have also added a banner to my Etsy Shop to the left <---. I would love it if you would go check out all my other projects as well.

All my projects give me so much joy when making them. I make them for Genesis, for my BLM sisters, for your babies and to bring us all just a little peace. I hope my work does this for you as well. And just a reminder that all proceeds from any and all sales and donations go towards funding memory boxes for bereaved parents so that no parent leaves the hospital empty handed.

30 day challenge: Day 20

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

HA! Well this is a loaded topic! Well of course it would be a man who is strong in his faith but other than that I haven't a clue. Heck, I dont even know if it will happen again for me. I certainly hope so. But I want it to be someone that is not only good for me but even better for the rainbows.

A tour

For a while now I have wanted to really share Genesis' garden with you all. And I have in the photos that I have posted. But I wanted to give you an even better and up close look. 

I am happy to say that I visited her garden this last weekend. It has been too long since Ive been here last. And as always it was like a breath of fresh air walking in that garden and seeing her name on her special stone.

I took video for you all so that you could have a 'live' tour of this most special place. I apologize for the quality of the video. I was recording as I was holding G. And you can hear the rainbows talking and making noise. It's kind of cute hearing D ask where Genesis' stone is. <3 I wanted to take an even longer video to really give you a feel for the ambiance here but I was unable to as the kids were ready to get dirty in the playground. HA HA! So without further delay, here is Genesis Garden.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 19

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Being that my name is Tiffany I get called "Tiff" a lot. I actually dont really like being called Tiff. I hear that name and I sort of cringe. But being that it sort of comes with the territory Ive learned to deal with it. On the other hand back in the day when I actually had friends, I would be called "Shaniqua". This is because I was known for being pretty ghetto haha!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 18

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

I hope to one day be able to own my own home. Nothing fancy... just  walls we can call our own.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Out of the blue

That's where it came from today. There was no trigger today. Today wasnt a special day or time of year. It was just a regular old Friday on my drive to work. When suddenly I just started crying. I wasn't thinking of her... not knowingly. But I know that my heart was. I was just so overcome with saddness I had to say a long prayer on my drive to give me the strength to get through the day.

I miss her so damn much. I can't even put into words how much. I can't imagine missing her like this for the rest of my life. I just cant. It's beyond torture. I feel like something has got to change. What? I have no idea. The only thing that could fix me is having her back with me. And that's the one thing I cant do.

I was thinking about how I have changed since she left me. I don't consider myself a friendly person now. I just dont go out of my way to say hi to a neighbor or someone passing on the sidewalk anymore. I just keep to myself a lot. I wonder what these people thing of me. Perhaps they think Im rude. Perhaps they think Im stuck up. I dont know, and dont care. But one thing is for sure. They certainly dont look at me and say, "hey, maybe she is a grieving mother who has been forever changed.' Nope. I dont like the small talk because the inevitable question of how many kids I have comes up. Or they say something stupid that reminds me that she is forgotten to others.

I feel like I have so much to say but dont have the words. And I even if I did find the words to put down... they all say the same thing. I miss her. I love her. I want her back. Im forever broken.

30 day challenge: Day 17

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Well despite everything I have gone through and the things that I struggle with everyday, I actually love my life. I wouldn't want to change a thing. Though I have always wondered what life as a celebrity is like. Dealing with paparazzi and autographs and fans. Along with the endless bank account where you can drop $2.5 million on a piece of jewelry without batting an eyelash. I'm not materialistic but I would just like to know what that type of financial security would feel like.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 16

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Um, Im gonna pass on posting another picture of myself. You guys know what I look like and Im certainly not vain enough to keep posting pics of myself lol 

But what I would like to discuss is that today is a very solemn day for a few reasons. First today is the one year anniversary of my dear BLM friend and sister of loosing her dear daughter TanaLee. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family today. I hope today is gentle on them. Ladybugs are TanaLee's thing and a funny thing happened. Yesterday I had not one but 2 ladybugs outside my window at work. The odd thing about that is that 1. I work on the 8th floor... bugs don't typically go that high up. 2. In in the middle of LA, again, not a lot of nature here and 3. They were not typical ladybugs. They were black with red dots on them. Very uniqe. The two ladybugs eventually flew away but my coworker told me they came back, BOTH of them, while I was at lunch. Genesis and TanaLee's winks? Perhaps. Either way It put a smile on my face and made me think of our girls.

Also today happens to be the 3 year anniversary of the last time anyone saw Caylee Marie Anthony alive. I remember when this was on the news when it first happened. It was just about a year after Genesis had died. I couldn't fathom how a mother could hurt her own child. And here I was grieving for my little girl and someone goes and snuffs the life out of theirs. Just horrific. This was the first photo of this beautiful little girl I saw. Those big beautiful brown eyes had me memorized. I gazed into those eyes and I saw the "should of beens" with Genesis. I saw the toddler Genesis should have grown to be. It just made me sick to hear what was done to her. 

Her mother is currently on trial as we speak for the death of Caylee Anthony. It's been going on for about 3 weeks now and I have been following very closely. As more information is being published I am more disgusted with the sick monsters out there who call themselves mothers. Who call themselves human. Just disgusting. And the evidence in the case... oh my god. I have cried so much during this trial. Ive cried more than her actual mother. That poor baby girl. I hope that murderer gets what she deserves. There will never be justice for Caylee though, because no matter the verdict, it will not bring her back. I pray that Jehovah remember Caylee and ressurect her in the new system. I just know he will. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 15

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First song that plays

A sigh of relief

Remember how I mentioned my brother and his wife are expecting and have a scheduled c-section this month on the 29th? Well great news, well at least for me anyway. I was off on the dates. It isn't on the 29th, its actually on the 27th! **weight off my heart** Seriously, the 29th is a special day for me because that was Genesis EDD. May 29th was my wedding anniversary... so despite everything that has happened, the 29th is a significant date for me. I really didnt wasnt my niece-to-be to take the 29th from me or from Genesis. So the fact that she will actually be here on the 27th is a huge relief for me. 

Moving on to another random thought/ experience I wanted to share with you all. You all know I start work very early. I leave home when the moon is still out...yes, that early. Being that Spring has sprung and is quickly turning into summer, the mornings have been quite warm. Still cool enough to make your skin cool to the touch but still warm enough where you dont really need a jacket in the morning. I love those mornings. I also love that the birds have started singing that early. Its so cute to hear all those little chirping birdies. And then of course I feel the sprinkles of dew falling from the morning sky. It's those little things that totally make my day. I love that I notice those things and its all because of Genesis.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 14

Day 14- A picture of you and your family
As you know I dont put pictures of my kids on this blog. If you want to check them out you can see the hundreds I have on facebook. So instead I leave you with this.

Monday, June 13, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 11, 12 & 13

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Do we really have to post about this again

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
I always knew of blogs and blogger and thought it would be neat to blog but I didn't really have motivation to actually write until after Genesis died and while I was ttc for a rainbow. It was July 2007 and I was in the two week wait to find out if I was pregnant or not. My first post was a letter to Genesis. A couple of days later on July 27, 2007, I found out I was indeed pregnant with my first rainbow. Two days later was Genesis EDD. Then about a week later my (then) husband left me. Needless to say I had a lot to write about. And Ive been writing ever since.

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
I already wrote one recently. If you want to check it out click here.

Friday, June 10, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 10

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Hmmm... this one is a tough one. I am honestly SO darn busy All. The. Time. That I hardly have a moment to listen to the raido or music. Usually the only time I can actually listen to anything is if Im driving on my way to work, on my blog and listening to my playlist or if I find a moment to bring up itunes on the computer while I work. Combine all those times and I think you will have less than 2 hours per week...if that. So if I am everh happy, sad, bored, hyped or mad... Im usually not listening to music.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

An odd mixture of emotions

As each day passes this month, and the closer we inch to the end of the month, I find myself getting anxious. I mentioned quite some time ago that my brother and his wife are expecting their second child. A girl. I don't know why little girls do this to my heart. I'm just sort of holding my breath for the day. It's a schedule C-section for June 29th. Don't even get me started on the fact that its on the 29th....Genesis EDD was July 29th. I feel like a kid that has a bandage on a wound just waiting for that bandage to be ripped off. I'm expecting it, I'm apprehensive, I'm sort of holding my breath, wondering of the unknown. But this isn't one of those times where the bandage is ripped off quickly and its done. Oh no. It's not that easy. Its like when you try to gently take it off and it actually hurts more. You do millimeter by millimeter. It pulls every skin cell and hair you have along with the scab from the wound it is covering. It takes a long time taking it off that way and is pretty painful. Even after its off you realize that the bandage took with it some of the scab and has caused your wound to open up again. That's exactly what I'm feeling emotionally. Sigh. Although part of me is excited that I can say I have a niece now. Only time will tell.

30 day challenge: Day 9

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Nothing really significant really has happened in the last few days for me to be proud of. I guess I could say that I am proud of myself for still keeping my head above water.

Obviously when Genesis died my world colapsed and crumbled from right under me. When my ex husband left me 5 months later, the little world that was still left after Genesis died was completly demolished. I had nothing left. Being pregnant with my first rainbow gave me the strength to live and continue on. When I lost my job when I was about 4 months pregnant with my rainbow, I swore that someone was out to get me and wanted to watch me fail. Yes that was one of the most difficult times in my life. I went from making a very nice living for a 20-something year old, around $80k a year, to living off welfare and foodstamps. It was a very humbling experience and I am actually glad now that I went through it. It tought me some very important lessons. 

I have come a long way since then. Through the 11 months of unemployment, I was responsible enough to never be late on any bills, and always pay the full amount. I was able to still provide for myself and my rainbow. I was able to climb out of this hole and stand on my own two feet and provide for my family. 

Don't me wrong, my financial situation is still far from perfect, but I have come a long way since 2008 and I am proud of myself for still standing today. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

An interesting conversation

I spent some time with my mother yesterday. We talked about various things pertaining to the family. Somehow the conversation took a turn to pregnancy loss, and no, I was not the one who brought it up, my mom was the one. 

She mentioned that my brother's wife's sister had a miscarriage a LONG time ago... probably about 10 years or so. I had already heard about it quite some time ago. My brother and his wife's family would talk about it from time to time. It's not what you think though. The reason they bring it up is because my sister-in-law's sister kept the baby. She put it in a baby food jar with alcohol and kept it in there. I believe she still has it. I know we all deal with these things differently so I'm trying really hard not to judge. I certainly don't want others to judge me for my decisions so I try very hard not to do that to others. But if I'm being honest it does strike me as... oh what's the word. Maybe, different. Maybe even slightly odd. But if it works for her than who cares what others think. My mom mentioned this and I shared my feelings and she said that me keeping Genesis ashes was the same thing. Um no, it is not the same thing. The same thing would be if I kept her body in a jar filled with alcohol to preserve it. And that would be freaky, strange, morbid, maybe even illegal... and the list goes on. Plus its common for people to keep their loved ones ashes. Heck there is a very profitable business in selling urns. But how many people do you know that keep their loved ones in a jar? She was making me feel that I was in the wrong for keeping her ashes. {that's not to say its wrong what my sister-in-law's sister did, but it's something she is obviously judged and mocked for by her family} My mom was saying I was judged for this too by my family in Fresno. Which is fine by me. I could care less. But the reason I bring this up is I would like to know your opinion about keeping a miscarried baby in a jar preserved like that. Ive heard of burring it in a special spot and visiting that spot from time to time. Maybe even putting it in a flower pot and having this most special plant. But aside from my sister-in-law's sister, I have never heard of anyone doing this. Have you?

Since my conversation with my mom did bring up Genesis we talked about her briefly. My mom said "I like to remember her alive." And while I think that is a lovely sentiment, Genesis was never alive outside of me. I have no memories of her alive after she was born because she wasn't alive. All the memories I have is what was given to me. I dream of her being alive but it's simply something that never happened. Id like my mom to not only dream of the possibilities of what could of been, but more importantly Id like for her to remember Genesis for what she was. Changing any part of that is changing who she was and is. My mom insists that Genesis moved after she was born. She said she saw her head move. I didn't see it, as a matter of fact I closed my eyes the whole time I was birthing her as I didn't want to see her at that moment. {Ive explained why in many other posts but in case you are a new reader, the reason was that I had done research on the internet about babies with her condition and the photo I saw scared me. I didn't want to remember her like that. I wanted to remember her perfect as she was in my dreams. After she was born I was told that she looked nothing like the photos and I went to go see her at the mortuary.} I was told that there were nurses observing Genesis when she was born. All medical records indicate that she was stillborn, and that is what I believe. She didn't take a breath and according to the observations, she didn't make any movements on her own. Sigh.

Anyway, then our conversation shifted once again where she said "I know its too late now but like Ive told you before... you shouldn't have had another baby.... isn't 2 kids harder than 1?" I don't get why she keeps bringing this up. At least this time it was brought up in a calm manner. I replied in a calm manner as well and said the following: "Deciding to have G was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Period. Having kids in general has it's challenges but I welcome them all. Having 2 kids is different than having 1. As for being harder... I think that living life without a living daughter was torture and beyond hard. Not that G replaces Genesis, because no one could ever replace her... but she has brought me comfort and some healing in that regard. Personally I think it would have been harder living the rest of my life without a living daughter." I left it at that and she didn't say another word.

30 day challenge: Day 8

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

I guess my short term goal right now is to stay employed. Im going through some slight issues at home, if you know me you know what I am talking about, and my main goal at the moment is to stay employed and be able to provide for my family. Im taking it day by day. So far so good.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A surprise wink

Well most winks are surprises but I thought it would be a good title for this post haha! I had that merchant called Genesis Merchant Processing call in today and when I answered the phone he said "This is ____ with Genesis..." Wow. He caught me off guard as always and hearing her name gave me heart flutters.

Consumed by death

This post isn't as morbid as the title suggests... or maybe it is. It seems that ever so often we get a reminder of how delicate life is. And as a BLM we know that better than anyone.

Yesterday I got news that my neighbor down the street, a mother of 2 in her late 30's, got in a car accident last Wednesday and died. It's just so chocking and so incredibly sad for those kids, and her husband. Just tragic. The husband, from what I am told, just got laid off a matter of days before her death. He is just devastated and he has no idea what will happen to the kids or the house. Evidently she was on the freeway that is just a matter of 2 blocks from our homes, she was driving to the mall which again is just like a mile from our homes. Not exactly sure what happened but I'm told her car flipped over somehow and she was killed. Click here for the article published online.

It's really creepy. I have lived in the home I am in now for about 10 years now. In the 10 years I have been here I have seen SO many of my neighbors die. 3 have died of old age. 1 died from cancer. 1 died from a drug overdose. Another 3 died as a result of a murder/ suicide. 1 got hit by a drunk driver and now this one as a result of a car accident. Unbelievable. 

Each precious life that is lost serves as a reminder to me that things can change in the blink of an eye. We are not immortal. My day will come too... hopefully many many many decades from now. Or even better... hopefully never. Of course I dont want to die, no one....well most people don't actually want to die. I cannot even dream about leaving my babies, especially while they are so small. But I know that things like this is beyond our control. Who knows... something could happen to me today, tomorrow or 80 years from now. Sigh. 

When death tiptoes into our life like this, even if indirectly, it really scares me. Especially as a single mother. What on Earth would happen to the kids. I feel the urgency to put a will together. I know Im still young but accidents happen. I dont like to think about that... who does. But I think as a parent its smart to plan for the unexpected. I want to make sure that my kids are safe, taken care of, and raised the way I would approve of if something were to happen to take me away from them.

30 day challenge: Day 7

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Well this one should come as no surprise. The someone that has had the biggest impact on my life are actually a group of little people. My kids. All 3 of them. Ive said it before and Ill say it again, Genesis was the beginning of my real life. She opened my eyes to what really matters in life. She taught me not to take things for granted. She taught me how to really love. My first rainbow saved my life. After Genesis died and after my then husband left me, I had nothing to live for. Nothing. If it wasn't for the fact that I was pregnant when he left Im not sure that I would be here today. D breathed life into me... almost literally. He gave me hope and strength. And G, my rainbow girl, brought beauty and even more hope and strength into my life as well. All three of my children inspire me in different ways. They have made me a better person and an incredible mother.

Monday, June 6, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 4, 5 & 6

Sorry I got a bit behind. Time to play catch up:

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
I am addicted to soda. I never drank soda as a child. Never had any cavities and was never overweight as a child. My ex husband was a heavy soda drinker. When we got married he introduced me to the addiction to this caramel liquid. I have tried to quit several times but the withdraw migraines are torturous. I'm at the point now where my body craves it more than water. Not good.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

This photo was taken in Honduras in 2003 just days before my 21st birthday. Oh to be young again. It was a vacation of a lifetime and I flew all by myself from LA to Florida and met up with relatives to go on a Caribbean cruise. Best vacation, EVER. I was so young and carefree. Little did I know the future that awaited me.
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
I don't think I have a favorite super hero. But there is an individual I admire. That's Jehovah God. I am in awe of his limitless power and his wondrous creations. And what tops the list of incredible acts of power is the day I await the new system. A world where there is no pain or suffering. A world of perfection and happiness. A world where all our dead loved ones will come back to life for eternity on a paradise Earth. The day I will be able to hold all my children in my arms. To even think about that day brings tears to my eyes. I cannot even fathom it, but look forward to it dearly.

Friday, June 3, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 3

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Ok I'm gonna be honest here with this post. This topic makes me sad. Mostly because I feel I don't have any real friends. Now don't get me wrong. I have tons and tons of loving BLM friends that are there for me more than even my family at times, but to have an in real life friend, that you talk to pretty often, go out with frequently, just relaxing in each other's homes... It's just not there.

And perhaps Im thinking of friends like how it was back in high school or the college days. Im a different person now. Im a blm. Im a mom. Im a single mom. Being all those kinds of moms takes up a lot of my time. A LOT. Sheesh, who am I kidding... it takes up ALL of my time. I can probably count the number of times Ive gone out with friends, with and without kids, or gone to their home or have someone over to my home since the kids were born on both my hands. Yes, it's that bad. The last place I went to where I met up with my friends was the IBLMD picnic hosted by Walk To Remember LA. And might I add I had to leave early because one of the kids was sick.

So I am sorry, I just dont have a picture to post for this one.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 2

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name

When I decided to start a blog for Genesis I didnt have to think long about what I was going to call it. It came to me almost immediatly. In the beginning there was Genesis. To me my life started with her. Forget everything that had happened from my birth up to the 23 years before I was a mother. She changed everything. She put everything into perspective and only after she left me did I see how stupid everything was that I thought was important. She opened my eyes to a new life, the real beginning of my life. My life as a mother. I also thought it was quite fitting that her name actually means "the beginning." There was no question about it. This had to be her blog name.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

30 day challenge: Day 1

My beautiful friend Cassie has a 30 day challenge for the month of June and I thought I would jump on the bandwagon by following these post questions/ topics:

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song

So to start the challenge I will answer #1.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

This is the most recent picture of just myself. 15 interesting facts about me are as follows:
1. English was not my first language
2. Of the 4 siblings I was raised with, none of them are biologically related to me
3. I know the alphabet in sign language
4. I can pretty much crack all the bones in my body
5. Ive broken each one of my toes at least 2 times, some more than 4
6. Ive played more than 10 years of soccer and was even offered a scholarship for it
7. I was in marching band in high school, and I quite enjoyed it if I might add :)
8. I became an expert parallel parker by the age of 17
9. In the last 2 1/2 years I have been fortunate enough to be able to find both sides of my biological family
10. My kids have great great grandparents living today
11. My name prior to being adopted was supposed to be Jennifer Therese Griffith
12. I was born 9 days before my edd
13. My right ankle is double jointed
14. I went to school for nursing but after working in a convalescent home it made me change my mind.
15. My first job was at age 16
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