Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Day 11: It is said that Father's and Mother's grieve differently. Do you feel this is true with your angel's father?

This is a hard one. I would have to answer yes though my knowledge on the subject is limited. My ex husband was only in the picture a short time after Genesis died. And that time was a blur. I don't really remember exact details too well. I don't remember him speaking of her much. I remember mother's day came around not too long after she died and it was before we were given the ok to TTC again. He wished me a happy mother's day. Then father's day rolled around as well and I wished him a happy father's day. I don't recall him really crying after we came home from the hospital from having her, or really talking about her or what happened. Then a week after finding out we were pregnant with our rainbow he left. He didn't care about this new life that was just beginning within me... the one that we I had so much ridding on. So it was evident the life we had lost with Genesis was much less important to him. There was a time after he left where we met up in hopes of fixing things. It was March 2008, I was 9 months pregnant with our rainbow. I remember saying with tears in my eyes "I cant believe she would have been 1 this month." He said nothing. He also said nothing about the baby boy that was going to be born within a month. I saw no grief in his eyes at all. The was the last time I spoke her name to him in person. On her birthday I texted him to see if he remembered what that day was... no reply. He has never mentioned her since. As far as my ex husband goes, he has no emotion towards this. He has no emotion towards our living children even. He might as well just have been a sperm donor for all of them. I know my situation is not typical but this is my experience with the father of my children.


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