Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Does it mean anything?... and a glimmer of a new start

I had another pregnancy dream last night. First let me take back for a moment. I met someone recently and we are still just getting to know each other. I am so very scared, excited, nervous, cautious... {enter any and all emotions here} and well he is on my mind a lot. We will call him Mr.X for now. So in my dream Mr.X and I were an official couple. But before we were official I did artificial insemination again. In my dream I just found out I was pregnant. I was in the doctor's office with my mom, D and G. The nurse was there and had me take a pregnancy test, and there were those bright 2 pink lines. She then went on to give me a general rundown on taking prenatals and the sort. As she was going over her check list she said something to me. Something like "You better not catch that virus or your baby will die." I got so mad at her and told her to have some compassion in how she speaks to people and that I had lost 2 children already. Yes you read that right. In my dream I told her 2. One was a miscarriage and one was stillborn. I can't fathom why my subconsciousness mind would say 2. God I hope my number does not increase in the future. So anyway getting back to my dream, I met up with Mr.X for dinner and we were having an awesome time. And I was left with the tough situation of telling him I was pregnant and it wasn't his, and how to explain how it was that I did get pregnant {think Jennifer Lopez in The Backup Plan}. Ya very weird dream. This dream was obviously a mix of the past and the future and then a little unknown. So needless to say the dream sort of freaked me out because of the two losses thing.

And since I brought up Mr.X I might as well spill a few details. As mentioned above, we are still getting to know each other. Nothing is serious right now, though I gotta say I am falling for him quite fast which I told myself I wouldn't do. Im just such a romantic I cant seem to help it. I am proceeding with caution though. Of course dating is much harder now with kids. Not only that but this, if it works out, will be a long distance relationship. Like a-1000-miles-between-us long distance relationship. So it's gonna take lots of work and time. But so far we are hitting it off great. He even said he wouldn't be surprised if fireworks go off when we meet in person. Isn't he a sweetheart? ok ok getting ahead of myself. So getting back to the reason I wanted to talk about Mr.X. I have not told him about Genesis yet. Part of me feels guilty for holding back. But I am waiting for the right time. As mentioned before I am looking for someone that is accepting of ALL my kids. Here or not. As things progress I'm sure I will share more about him and how he reacts to learning about Genesis. Until then I ask for prayers that this all works out.


Holly said...

That would be great if you and Mr. X worked out! :)

Franchesca said...

Wishing you all the best Tiffany, and I hope this dream only means a beautiful future for you and Mr. X!! :)

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