Thursday, December 9, 2010

Time for a rant

I just need to vent here for a minute. This post isnt about any one person in particular... just a bunch of people. People that are close to me, people that aren't close, family, friends, strangers, BLM's and non BLM's. Its pretty much about everyone. 


So we all know what its like to be a BLM. And for those of you that were like me that lost your first and only child, you know how badly you would rather have a crying baby than an infinitely sleeping one. I am sick and tired of moms complaining about their babies. I cant tell you how many times a day I hear someone say or read online how "bad" their baby is. They post/say things like "Im so tired...the baby kept us up again last night" or "Im so tired of her/him crying..." or "time to get away from baby..." I will be the first one to tell you that I get it. I get being tired. I get being overwhelmed sometimes. I get being sleep deprived. Im a single mom and I probably have it much harder than these people I hear saying that. (though I must say Im only going off an assumption from seeing that most if not all are in a two parent household) But the difference is I rarely complain about it. I am so glad that I am actually going through it. 


Because when Genesis died I had no baby keeping me up at night. I slept soundly. I wasnt overwhelmed by a crying baby, I had silence at home. I didnt have to spend hours putting a baby to bed, I had free time to do whatever I wanted. I could live my life and go out at the drop of a hat if I wanted to because I had no child to find a baby sitter for. What I would have given to be able to be a sleep deprived mother to a living daughter. So now that I have been and continue to go through the everyday things of being a mother to living children I rarely complain that my child is... well, living. I treasure it. 


But it bothers me even more so when I hear BLMs say these things. Once again, I know where they are coming from, I do. And Im not talking about saying it once in a while when you just about at your wits end and frazzled. Im referring to the people that I have crossed paths with that I hear/read saying this on a regular everyday basis. One of my BLM friends likes to refer to these types of people as "forgot where I came from BLMs" because they went through not having a child here to take care of. And now that they have 1 or 2 or however many they are complaining about it. They wanted a rainbow or 2 or 3, they got it/them and now they are complaining about it.


Maybe its only human to complain every once in a while....but like I said this isnt the "once in a whiles" Im talking about. But I cant help but to stop and think every time I hear/ see this and think that they already have a zero maintenance baby who no longer is here... I dont know... I really dont know what more to say about this... Like I said, its just a rant and I wanted to get my frustrations out... so there you have it. Its out.

7 comments:

Angie said...

Amen sister!!! I still get to do whatever the hell I want. I have all this wonderful, sought after freedom, and I'd trade it in for even just one hour of getting to have my Aiden alive.

This morning I was walking through Walmart amongst the sea of stay-at-home moms and overheard one of them get especially irritated with her beautiful, living toddler. He was babbling and kept saying "I love you mama" and his annoyed mother finally said, "Okay! I don't even know what you're saying!" I nearly had to walk out of the store to keep from smacking her.

Vent over. Thank you Tiffany! xo

Leannehoovler said...

I feel you sweet girl! I just encountered a mom with a sick little boy at the doc's office I work in, his name was Michael, and he felt terrible. All he wanted to do was sit in his moms lap and be comforted. She kept saying, "What is wrong with you?" like she was inconvenienced by him. I was heartbroken and cried my eyes out! I just wanted to scoop him up, give him a big hug and tell him he was going to be ok. It was awful and I still get tears in my eyes just thinking about that.
XOXOXOX Beautiful blog by the way!

TanaLee Davis said...

I couldn't agree more! I actually just posted a little something like this post of yours. I hate that parents even BLM's will constantly put there children in front a TV or something after a year or two...like they don't matter anymore..drives me crazy.
Love ya-
Felicia

MissingYouAlways said...

the same thing has been bothering me girl.

The Anglin Family said...

Right now, its pregnant women. THe ones who post their facebook statuses like im soo sick, i have heartburn, indigestion, im so exhausted...I just want to scream at them.
So I totally understand.

belle said...

i hear you... i even find myself getting overwhelmed by life sometimes and being the one who loses perspective and then i kick myself because i really would do ANYTHING to have the 4 that i'm missing adding to my crazy chaos..... more often than not, i find myself wishing for time to grieve for the ones that aren't here,but not wanting to separate myself from the ones that ARE here.... sigh, and i find myself LOVING the "inconveniences" of being pregnant this time... cherishing it more and more.... ANYTHING to get this baby here safely.

sending you ((((hugs))))

Antoinette said...

do I even need to say ditto...or need to say i NEVER hear you, a single mother of 2 living children and 1 in Heaven (which is a hard job mothering all together) complain about a THING. Both kids sick at once, NEVER heard you complain. Gigi bf all night all day (evidence is in her cheeks) NEVER complain...I dont get this either, and more then that i DONT get it when it comes from a BLM the most. the very person who knows the 'up all night...CRYING' feeling. The very person who said they "Cant wait" to have that happen, all of a sudden forget the gift they have...I wish my biggest problem was a baby that cried, its means THEY ARE ALIVE. I wish my biggest problem was my baby is awake, that means I CAN SEE HER EYES....but like everything else in life now, i have to learn to look away with what i dont agree with and just remember THAT Is not how i plan to be. (hopefully). I really appreciate this post...!!!

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