I feel the need to blog but dont really know where to start. This blog is primarily for anything related to Genesis. But a very small percentage of it is just to vent... probably like 0.01%. This is one of those posts.
I only put so much of myself out there on the internet. Weather it be here on my blog or on my facebook page. Yes, of course, facebook is more into my daily life while this place is more about Genesis. But even if you follow my blogs and are my friend on facebook, that doesnt mean you know every single detail of my life. Im sure the same can be said about all of you. We only know so much about each other and we kind of overlook all the gaps of what we dont know.
Well sadly, I have had a few people who have judged me based on photos that I put online. They want to jump to conclusions about my way of parenting. And my way of grieving for my child. And to those that want to point the finger at me, remember that when you do that, you have three more fingers pointing back at yourself. Who are you to judge? Really? If you are a BLM and we have walked parallel paths who are you to say that your way of grieving is the only way? Or that my way is wrong? And Im going on almost 4 years without her and you say thing like I should be over it... well it has a name in case you haven't been reading my blog. Her name is Genesis. And I will grieve for her for the rest of my life. And if you dont like it then that is your problem. I dont make you read my blog. Those of you that read it are here because you are offering support to me, maybe even finding a little strength and hope from my posts that you can take away with you or maybe you just think its a good read. (I hope its those things anyway)
Just because we are BLMs and connected on this terrible level doesnt mean that we are all exactly the same. Our stories are different. Our feelings are different. Our grieving is different. Our situations are different. No two people are alike. And if we have rainbows, our children are not alike. One thing that holds true for all of us I think, is that we have been through enough grief in life to last us a lifetime. So why add to it by turning on each other? We certainly dont need that.
For BLM and non BLM alike who have kids... you can raise your kids anyway you want. You know what is best for you and your family just like I know what is best for me and mine. I cant stand those moms that want to give you advice on what you should do and how to parent your kid especially when I didnt even ask for your opinion. Or those parents that want to go off a picture and judge your parenting. Like if your kid was photographed playing in the mud they jump to conclusions that you live like a homeless person. That you dont bathe your kids and that you cant afford to take care of them. What in the world is that? Come one, are people so closed minded that that is the way they think? Am I such an big part of your life that you must look through all my photos and then want to judge me? I had no idea I was that important to you.
There is no one way to parent. I have my own opinions about vaccines, spankings, circumcision, co-sleeping.... even the way I clothe and love my kids...the list goes on. But I am not so close minded and ignorant as to think that everyone with different opinions than mine is wrong. Their decisions do not affect me in the least. So why would mine affect others?
If you have seen pics of my kids on facebook let me ask you this: Do they look miserable? Does my home look filthy? Do they look malnourished? Do they look sickly? Does it look like they lack anything? Then why does it matter how I parent them if they have everything they need and more?
Sigh... I cant believe I even had to do a post on this. But here is the last thing I want to say. As BLMs dont you think we have been through enough? Why add to the daily struggles? Why add anxiety and drama? We have enough to worry about already. Weather you are on the outside looking in as non BLM or you are in this terrible club, I think the same rule applies: If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. And if you do have a problem with me or anything else that involves you, you can talk to me as a mature, respectable adult. Although once again I dont see how my parenting/ life choices include you in the least.