Monday, November 1, 2010

Who said I wasnt thankful for my rainbows?

I posted a simple status update on my facebook page that expressed that I dont like November because its a sad month for me. Its not the worst time of year for me, but it has memories of Genesis. I had someone reply to it (yes a blm) telling me (in short) that I should be thankful for having my rainbows. I know she meant well...or at least I hope she did, but comments like that get to me.


Why cant I express that I miss Genesis without someone telling me to be thankful for my rainbows? Who ever said I was NOT thankful for them? They are the reason I am here today and they are my life and I love them with everything I have to give. But I am allowed to miss Genesis too. I love all my kids exactly the same. I post photos on my facebook page all the time of my rainbows, hundreds of photos, just as I post pictures of things that remind me of Genesis. I dont get how you would think Im not thankful for my living children. No matter how much I love my rainbows, no matter how thankful I am for them, no matter how many more living children I may go on to have and no matter how much time passes... I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS GENESIS. PERIOD. My pain isnt a constant, everyday pain that I felt right after she died. As I have said many times before, my grief is always changing. But there will always be times during the year that will remind me even more of her and I will miss her. Im allowed to do that. And missing her is ok.


UPDATE: Many of my BLM friends came to my rescue on my status and backed me up saying I shouldnt be made to feel bad that I miss Genesis. The person who posted that comments of course re commented saying that she was misunderstood and thats not what she meant. I know, many of the things that hurt us are well meant. And when it comes to a BLM you never know what is the right thing to say because what is ok with one BLM may be hurtful to the next. 

8 comments:

Trena said...

I'm sorry Tiffany ♥ ((hugs)) I've had people say similar things to me. I don't have any rainbow babies (hopefully in the future!) But I've had people make the comment such as, "At least you have Tianna and Aubrianna." or "Be thankful for the two you have." um..okay. I AM thankful and very much blessed for my two amazing little girls but I DO miss my sons. I love ALL my children, earthly and heavenly the same.

Angie said...

I'm sorry anyone made you feel you have to defend your love for all for your babies. Like you said, I'm sure she meant well, but I understand how some comments sting a more than what was intended. Now that the holidays are upon us, we'll get through these next couple of months together! (I found out I was pregnant with Aiden on 12.26.10)
xo

PrincessKalico said...

I read that comment too and I felt the same as you. So glad to see you posted a blog about it. Sometimes people don't know what to say even if they have been through the same thing. Thinking of you and Genesis all this month.

Courtney said...

Ugh, I really wish people would THINK first. Just because someone has other living breathing children on this earth does not take away from the fact that there is a piece of our heart in heaven with our babies that are NOT hear with us. There is no replacing that hole. Other children are not replacements.

*hugs*

Wyatt's Mommie said...

I am so very sorry that I missed the comment, but PLEASE know I would have had your back!!! I am sorry that the comment was made, as it should not have been, regardless of how it was meant.

One would think a BLM would understand that the pain NEVER goes away.

Tiffany said...

I read that comment too and I felt the same as you. So glad to see you posted a blog about it. Sometimes people don't know what to say even if they have been through the same thing. Thinking of you and Genesis all this month.

Tiffany said...

I'm sorry anyone made you feel you have to defend your love for all for your babies. Like you said, I'm sure she meant well, but I understand how some comments sting a more than what was intended. Now that the holidays are upon us, we'll get through these next couple of months together! (I found out I was pregnant with Aiden on 12.26.10)
xo

Tiffany said...

I am so very sorry that I missed the comment, but PLEASE know I would have had your back!!! I am sorry that the comment was made, as it should not have been, regardless of how it was meant.

One would think a BLM would understand that the pain NEVER goes away.

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