Sunday, November 28, 2010

A picnic with Mason

I met up today with Karen {yes the same Karen from the previous post about the message in the sky} and we went to go visit her precious baby Mason. This was my first time at a cemetery and I didnt know how my visit would be. I had no idea if I could just drive in, or if I needed a pass or something. I had no idea where I would park or how I would even find Mason's grave. Luckily I met up with Karen there and I just followed her to the baby section. 


Seeing this section initially brought tears to my eyes before I even got out of the car. All these little graves. With tons and TONS of flowers everywhere. It was the most decorated and visited section of the whole cemetery. And boy are cemeteries huge. I brought the rainbows and of course D was ver excited to see the flowers and pinwheels everywhere. The pinwheels were spinning so very fast since today was a very windy day. It was beautiful. I saw many graves with toys on them. It was just so very sad. Many of the markers had the child's (and even children) photo on them. 


The day was just beautiful and we were able to enjoy and nice relaxing lunch right there next to mason. It was hard not to let my mind wander while I was sitting there with my rainbows. Thinking about those poor innocent children laying there... buried 6 feet below while I was so very privileged to have my rainbows with me above ground, hugging and kissing them. Then my thoughts turned to Genesis. I sometimes wish she had a grave that I could visit and decorate and leave flowers and just to go and get away when I need to. But I know Im not going to live here in LA forever. It would kill me to leave her behind. Sigh. Then my mind started wandering again... wondering if there was a grave here with the name Genesis on it. I passed it off as a crazy thought. Its not a common name and this cemetery was huge! we were only in the baby section and what are the odds that there would be a baby named Genesis near where baby Mason was. Oh and of course getting back to Mason, the flowers at his grave were just beautiful. Can anyone tell me what kind of flower those big poops of purple, orange and yellow are? They were absolutely gorgeous!


So anyway, after we ate we walked around to see the other babies. It was so very sad. I saw a marker with a photo of a 6 yr old boy and a photo of his sibling's ultrasound. They both died on the same day. I can only imagine that he and his pregnant mom were in some sort of accident and both the boy and the unborn baby were killed. I have no idea about the mom. I saw babies that looked perfectly healthy and so I had to assume it was SIDS or something. I seen some like baby Mason who were attached to machines and sadly never made it home from the hospital. So very sad. But at the same time all these graves where heavily decorated with flowers, balloons and toys. They were not forgotten. They were still very much loved and that brought me comfort. And then Karen and I saw this:
Wow. A seemingly healthy baby girl named Genesis. Just on the other side of the lot where Mason was. And her Genesis' middle initial was also "M". This baby was born a year before Genesis' was born. Still, to see a baby girl named Genesis there in the ground was kind of surreal. This baby was just so cute. Such a shame. But even though we were literally surrounded by death, we did have a nice time remembering and visiting Mason. 


My mind has been thinking about death again in the last day... and well today didnt really help either. But I get in a weird funk when I think about dying. I have blogged about it before but here it is again. Im just really scared of dying. I really dont want to. I know that sounds ridiculous...who actually wants to die ya know? But its something that really freaks me out and when I think about it, it really lingers in my mind. I scare myself. And yesterday when I saw the word "BODY" in the clouds I went to google "BODY" to see if it would bring up anything that might give us more insight. Well I guess I wasnt thinking because when I typed body, sure enough a picture of a cadaver came up. That wasnt what I was looking for. Although thinking back I have no idea what I thought I would find when googling that...but certainly not a corpse. Seeing this dead person, even for just a few second, really freaked me out. I cant see stuff like that. It makes me much too away of my mortality. It makes me sad. I hope I get out of this funk soon. 

3 comments:

mrsnice777 said...

Wow - How cool to find a headstone with Genesis' name! Whoa!

As for thinking about death and getting a little freaked out over it - if we're honest, we all think about it and have that creepy feeling at times. At moments like that, I try to push my mind to dwell on my Jesus, who I'll see after the body dies. :-) Mind over matter.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

(((hugz)))
Jamie

TanaLee Davis said...

Crazy! I seriously never heared of anyone with the name Genesis until my sister named my niece. Then I found you and now this baby's grave. Man, it sure is a popular name. Cute!
I hope you'll find yourself out of you funky mood soon.
hug-
Felicia

Tiffany said...

Wow - How cool to find a headstone with Genesis' name! Whoa!

As for thinking about death and getting a little freaked out over it - if we're honest, we all think about it and have that creepy feeling at times. At moments like that, I try to push my mind to dwell on my Jesus, who I'll see after the body dies. :-) Mind over matter.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

(((hugz)))
Jamie

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