Friday, November 26, 2010

I made it

I survived yesterday and it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. I still missed her though. Today is also a day associated with memories. Although this time it was regarding D, my first rainbow.


Black friday 2007 I went out with my brother to do all the shopping. We went to about 3 or 4 places which is a lot to walk especially when you are pregnant. I was about 20 weeks... almost exactly at the point when Genesis was born/died. We decided to stop at Olive Garden for lunch. Being the typical prego woman I said I needed to use the bathroom before we sat down. When I used the bathroom and I wiped... I saw blood. I wiped again and it was still there. Yet a third time, there was more. Now it wasnt bright red and it wasnt a lot...but to me any blood in pregnancy freaks me the heck out. Especially after having a loss and especially in my first pregnancy after my loss. 


My heart stopped right then and there. I could feel the blood rushing out of my face, I must have been pale as a ghost. I told my brother we were leaving and immediately called the on call line to my Obs office. I remained calm on the line and told them everything they needed to know in one breath. 


Me:"My name is Tiffany Lopez, patient of Dr.___. I am 20 weeks pregnant and I am bleeding. I have had a prior pregnancy loss...Should I go to the hospital?"


Operator: "Please hold."
{after waiting bout 5 min}


Operator: "How can I help you?"


Me: {repeating the first line I said before and trying not to go ballistic on them}


Operator: "Ok, please hold."
{after waiting another 5 min}


Operator: "What seems to be the problem?"


Me: {by this time I had had about enough} "IM FREAKING BLEEDING! IM 20 WEEKS PREGNANT AND IM BLEEDING! IVE TOLD YOU 3 FREAKING TIMES WHILE YOU GO AND PUT ME ON HOLD AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MY BABY COULD BE DYING!"


I just hung up on them and drove to the hospital full steam ahead. I cried the whole way. I was frustrated and so mad at the operator. I was scared to death that I was going to have another baby die. When I got to the maternity ward they put me in the room next to the room where I gave birth to Genesis. It made the tears fall down even harder. Luckily the bleeding had stopped and my doctor assumed it was a big contraction that pushed some blood out. I did feel a contraction as I was walking to the restaurant. 


So today I look at my now 2 yr old son and remember that terrifying day and I am so incredibly thankful to have him here with me. I hug him just a little bit tighter today.

4 comments:

Wyatt's Mommie said...

<3 Thinking of you today!!!

mrsnice777 said...

Wow, Tiffany! The things you've suffered!! I'm so sorry friend!

Glad you got to hug D today!
Jamie

Angie said...

So happy you have little D to hold on to 2 years later <3

Antoinette said...

<3 that sounds so scary and im glad you yelled at the operator 3x and she STILL had to ask!!! hopefully she learned from you to REMEMBER that her job is to listen....Thank goodness D is here!!! scary...blood in pregnancy is scary..i spotted w alyssa and although it was nothing to do with her loss, i am afraid to spot now..its a fear i think anyone will have, but after a loss its like 29x harder to see...

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