Thursday, November 11, 2010

Evidently Im "Consumed"

This is what my mother told me today. We were just having some casual conversation and I just randomly asked her thoughts on attending a support group. Her response, "a support group for what?" Yea...um, so this response kind of, I dont know... not upset me but kind of frustrated me. In my head I am thinking 'what do you mean for what? only for the biggest tragedy of my life' but I just responded "for Genesis." She said "I think it would be good, you're a bit consumed by it." Whoa...ok so "it" has a name you know. And "it" is also your first grandchild, remember? uggh. And I thought her response to be interesting as I rarely ever speak of Genesis to my family. I mean rarely. You could probably count the number of times I have spoken to them about her this year on one hand. Not because I dont like talking about her, but because I dont like how they respond when I do. 


I hardly think Im "consumed". I think I would have really benefited from a support group when the loss was raw instead of being alone in my grief, I didnt even have the BLM community then. But now Im in a different place. I would still like to attend at least once as its something I have never tried. But that is besides the point of this post. It just really bothered me that she thinks Im "consumed". Just because I talk about my dead daughter and do things to remember doesnt mean I am consumed. I mentioned to my mom that I am allowed to talk about all my children...even the dead one. She didnt reply and of course the subject was dropped as my family hates to talk about her. I dont get why I am considered to be consumed just because I wont pretend like it didnt happen. Like she didnt live and die. Dont we ever get a break?

6 comments:

Wyatt's Mommie said...

If only others could "consume" themselves a bit more before they speak. If only....

Tiffany said...

lol, I totally agree!

Jaime said...

Oh Tiffany, I'm sorry your mom responded that way. I think we will always be consumed as well we should be!! We are all consumed with our living children, our others should not be forgotten just because they aren't here with us physically.

xo

brigette said...

Wow I am so sorry. What a horrible thing to say... how can we not be consumed?? Seriously what do they expect us to do? Uggh I hate when people talk before they think about how it will effect us... So sorry Tiffany.

mrsnice777 said...

Tiffany - I can really relate to what you say in this post. I've been getting a lot of that attitude from my mother and other relatives as well :-(

Anyway, I found your blog through a friend's page. I've really enjoyed it. I watched the video at the bottom of the baby loss momma's mother's day. It's awesome! I never knew about it.

Thanks for sharing and keeping it real!
Jamie
@ forget-me-notohlord.blogspot.com

Holly said...

I don't think you're consumed. I think you're totally normal and like all the rest of us.

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