Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Im a silly mama

I like to play make believe sometimes. Im sure we all have been asked or have read this horrible question, "How many kids do you have?" I hate that question with a passion. No matter what answer you give, its never the perfect answer. If I say I have three, then they ask how old they are. And everything is fine until I say "and my daughter would have been 3 1/2." Then I get looks of pity or some will even try and hug me and then I feel the tears coming and its just a mess to go through for a stranger. If I say I have 2 kids and leave it at that, then I feel guilty for denying Genesis.


Well, one time I had a totally different answer. This is where mama was silly and played make believe. It was honestly the one time I had the most perfect lie answer. This was back when D was only a few months old and I took him to go get his photos taken. As I was in line paying a woman came up to me and told me how cute he was. She then asked that horrible question, "Do you have any other kids?" I replied with a smile and said "Yes. I have a 1 1/2 yr old daughter." She then asked where she was. (yes she actually asked this) I replied, "she's at home with her daddy." The lady smiled and was satisfied with my answers. For a split second it felt like the most perfect answer and for a minute, even I believed it was true. Until I snapped out of it and remembered that my baby was dead and my husband left me. 


But this silly mama likes to believe sometimes that her baby is still here. She likes to imagine what it would be like with all three babies here and I pretend for a little that its real.

3 comments:

Mason said...

Your not silly tiffany. I still get that question, Mason passed 4 months ago but he was here for a while So Acquaintances till this day have asked me how hes doing and if hes out the hospital. Im so sick of answering that qustion. Or the question of "If I have any kids". well this one time I went to get my pedi, and the ladys ALWAYS asked to see pictures of Mason. I couldnt tell them, I couldnt go through it all over again. So I told them he was out and he was home....I believed it also for a second. Then I got in my car and saw all this things(because my car is filled with his toys from the hospital that i havent gotten the strenght to take out) and I started crying...I know your pain Tiffany.

Lisette said...

You are not silly. I HATE that question too but now I don't care about the reaction I get from people. I am a proud mom to a little girl in heaven. It isn't easy and it probably makes people feel uncomfortable but it makes ME feel better so I don't care. My husband knows to respond that way too because if he doesn't get gets an earful from me, lol.
I sometimes like to imagine how life would be if she was here w/me physically too sigh!

Tiffany said...

You are not silly. I HATE that question too but now I don't care about the reaction I get from people. I am a proud mom to a little girl in heaven. It isn't easy and it probably makes people feel uncomfortable but it makes ME feel better so I don't care. My husband knows to respond that way too because if he doesn't get gets an earful from me, lol.
I sometimes like to imagine how life would be if she was here w/me physically too sigh!

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