Saturday, October 2, 2010

I have to get this out

I don't usually like to talk about specific people on this blog but I'm going to make an exception today because this person is very near and dear to my heart and this blog is for me to put the thoughts of my heart.


My friend and I met in high school. We were great friends even though I was a grade ahead of her. After I graduated we lost touch. Then she and her family moved and then it was very hard finding her again. I thought about her often and gazed at pictures of she and I fondly wishing for the day we meet again. I wanted to invite her to my wedding but had no way of reaching her. Sadly, she missed it.


Fast forward a year and a half or so and we found each other again. I forget how, facebook probably, and I was so happy to have such an important person was back in my life.


A few months later I got a call from her mom telling me she was in a terrible car accident. She had to have a major surgery because the accident shifted all her organs. I was pregnant with D at the time. My family and I drove 3 hours to go visit her after she was released to go home. She was on good spirits and it was so good seeing her. She recovered nicely from her accident but she told me I was 1 of the few friends that actually went to visit her and that it meant so much to her. I seriously love her like a sister. I invited her to my baby shower for D and she said she would come but ended up not showing up. I was a little bummed but I didn't hold it against her. I knew she lived far and that she's pretty busy so I just accepted it and moved on.


We would keep in touch from time to time as we were both very busy and found it hard to actually plan to get together. I found out earlier this year that she got married. I was surprised as I didn't even know she was dating someone but I was so very happy for her. I was sad I didn't get to share the happy day with her but I guess from what I hear it was just the two of them and no guests. So I don't really feel left out.


She told me a few months ago that she was pregnant with her first child, a boy. I was very excited for her. She knew I was a Doula and she had shown interest in having me there. I was honored to have even been considered to be at such a special day in her life. I of course offered her my services free of charge as I don't charge family <3


A few months after that we set up a date for her to come over to catch up and so that we child meet her husband. I ended up canceling a few days before because my grandmothers health was bad and we wanted to take a trip to see her. She was approaching 90 yrs old and we didn't know if this may be our last chance to see her. So I apologized to my friend and she totally understood how important this trip was.


Her baby shower was last month, September 11th to be exact. She had invited me but didn't know exactly where it was gonna be. She said it may be where she used to live, which was about 3 hours away, or it would be locally. I told her I would love to go but if it was too far it would be much too difficult to go with two kids and no help. If it was local I was as good as there. Her shower ended up being too far away and understood I wouldn't be able to make it. I felt horrible about it but I told her we must meet up before baby is here so I can give her a gift and take her out to lunch or something. She agreed and that was the last I heard from her.


I had called, emailed and texted her for weeks now with no response. I checked my facebook and to my surprise she wasn't there anymore. As a matter of fact she actually deleted and blocked me! I tried searching for her husband and he blocked me as well. This was odd as I wasn't friends with him on facebook in the first place.


I messaged a mutual friend and she said her last stays update was "please pray". So this got me even more worried.


I decided to call again this morning only this time I blocked my my number hoping it may make a difference. Her husband answered the phone. Here is our conversation:


Him: hello?
Me: uh, hi. Is _____ there?
Him: no. She's not available. Who is this?
Me: it's Tiffany
Him: Oh. (long pause)
Me: um, do you know if she's gonna be free today?
Him: No. We are very busy all weekend.
Me: oh. Well I had not heard from her in a few weeks and was starting to get worried. Are she and the baby ok?
Him: yea they are fine.
Me: oh ok, I'm glad to hear that. Well, could you please have her give me a call when she can?
Him: yea
Me: ok, thanks. Bye.
Him: {hangs up}


Hmmmm. I dont know what to think. He has never answered her phone before, well not anytime I have called. She has never not called me back. She would have never deleted or blocked me. My sister was friends with her on facebook too and we just realized that she was deleted and blocked as well from both my friends page and her husband.


I'm very glad she and baby are ok. She's not due till November. But I'm so confused as to what is going on. I don't have very many irl friends and even fewer I can call family. And anytime I lose one of those friends (it's happened twice before for unknown reasons) it's such a huge loss to me. I hope we can talk one day and straighten this out. Hopefully before baby is here. I don't even know what his name is gonna be... I just have a feeling something weird is going on... I dont think any of the above things would of upset her to the point of unfriending me and blocking me... Im very heartbroken over this...

3 comments:

butterflymom said...

That's a tough situation, Tiffany. I don't have any real words of comfort or advice, but to continue to be there for her as much as you can. She may need you more than you know. Don't hurt yourself in the process, though, because you do have people in your life that love and care for you. ((hugs))

Jessica said...

Wow that's a crappy situation. I hope you get answers soon - I hate unanswered questions and worries they are biggest pet peeve! (((hugs))) <3

michelle hs said...

wow! i'm sorry - i hope you get this all figured out. i hate it when people drop you for no apparent reason! glad her husband says she and the baby are okay though. HUGS

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