Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Day After

PhotobucketI woke up today with a bit more peace and sense of accomplishment after yesterdays events. I felt pretty good. I got up nice and early and got the kids dressed and went to church today. My family invited me to go to eat afterwards and on the way to the restaurant I passed the mortuary. Not just any mortuary. The mortuary... Genesis' mortuary. I found myself feeling anxious when I realized I was going to drive right by it. And as I got closer I realized the look on my face began to look mad. I could feel myself frowning. Once it was within my view I relived that day again in my mind for the whole 20 seconds I was stopped at the light right in front of it. I felt my eyes start to fill with tears again. The one question I find that I ask all the time was "why". WHY!? WHY DAMNIT! I didnt get it then, and I still dont get it now. Why did it have to be her? Why do they not know what causes this condition? Her name was just randomly picked? Her number was up before she could even see the world? why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY!? Sigh. 

2 comments:

Christy said...

I don't think I will ever stop asking why. I know that I may never know-I know that most likely (imo-I know lots have different views on this!) there is no actual reason why-but it doesn't stop me from wondering. From being angry. From feeling singled out and wondering what I did to deserve this for my babies.
Sigh.

croleyc69 said...

{{{HUGS}}}

Caroline

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