I have seen a few people say this and it gets to me every time. I agree there is nothing worse than losing a child. Period. But a stillborn baby is not the same as an infant. Just as an infant, is not the same as an older child or adolescent. I have seen people say that losing a baby, say for example, in your 9th month of pregnancy is the same as losing a 9 year old child. In my opinion, no it is not.
When someone says this I think to myself: "you had 9 years of memories, of knowing your child, of hearing I love you, of kissing them goodnight, of seeing their smiles, of photos.... you had 9 years of everything... I didnt even have 1 minute, not one literal second of my daughter living outside me." The difference I think is what you can hold on to when they are gone. Not the strength of your bond or love, that I believe to be the same as I would have given my life to save Genesis if I could have even though I had not even met her. I imagine there is so much more after 9 years than what I had when Genesis left me. I have a blanket, 2 ultrasound photos and one photo of her after her birth. I can hold all her physical memories in one hand.
I have seen in the online community where other similarities were compared like a stillborn child or a critically ill child. I want to make it clear that this is not a competition on who had it worse. Miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, any child loss are equally as horrific but all different in their own way. We are all BLMs but have our own pathways down the same journey, living life without our children. What are your thoughts on this?