Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Crossroad

It seems I am at crossroad that quite a few BLM reach in their journey through grief. You know, that point where you have nothing new to say. You just feel the same and feel like a broken record... I miss my daughter, I miss my daughter, I miss my daughter... Im just in such a different place now than I was before. I dont think we ever stay in the same place for long, grief is a journey. And it changes, you never go back to that place you were before either. I wish I had this blog in the days following Genesis' death, I would have written here 10 times a day. It would have been a good outlet for me. But now... now its different. I mean its still an outlet for me and a special little place for all things "Genesis", but its different now. I dont even know how to put it into words. Its not better or worse, it just is different. 


On a different note I have something beautiful to share. I grew up in a small city called South Pasadena. Most of you have heard of Pasadena but they are not the same, they are next to each other though. Its a beautiful place to raise children and I feel so blessed and privileged to have been raised there. I wish I could raise my rainbows there but its super expensive. Anyway, what I wanted to share with you was a park in this awesome city that I actually lived across the street from when I was younger. Garfield Park. 






I have so many memories at this park. From the police fairs held there, to the raccoons in the gutter, to the club houses we would make in the bushes, to the late night tennis matches we would play. I even had my wedding photos taken at this park. In the last few years they have completely redone the park. The playground, the bathrooms, the trees and flowers are completely different than when I grew up there. One of the new additions to the park is a memorial garden.


I was shocked to find this when I went back after having my first rainbow. Im not sure why it was shocking. I guess it hits very close to home to have a memorial garden specifically for children in the park I used to play at as a child and after losing my own child. It brought tears to my eyes. Here are some photos:





Isnt it beautiful? I feel so at peace here and wish I could come here everyday. Sadly I live further from this park than I used to but its still close enough where I can go and take my rainbows there for a picnic once in a while. This park just became even more special to me and it will always hold a special spot in my heart, right next to where Genesis is.

7 comments:

brigette said...

The park is beautiful!! I understand what you are feeling... its a weird, hard feeling. Im so sorry!Sending much love

Wyatt's Mommie said...

So very beautiful...

croleyc69 said...

That's so beautiful !!! Such a wonderful place.

Caroline

Bree said...

I love South Pasadena. That park looks beautiful. Maybe we can meet there someday. I'd love to go. :)

Tiffany said...

Really Bree? You know South Pas? Wow! The majority of people dont have any idea where this town is. Im so happy to hear you do! I would love to go with you and the kids one day. Ill show you around, I know the city like the back of my hand :)

Holly said...

Love the park!!!

I get what your saying about not having much to say. I feel that way.

Danae said...

I love the park! It's beautiful!

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