I have had a pretty drama filled evening that I'd rather not go into detail about but I just got hurt very bad, emotionally, by a family member. It had nothing to do with Genesis...just family drama. But somehow by the end of it I was talking about Genesis.
It seems any time I get hurt or something makes me cry, no matter what it is, it always goes back to Genesis. Its like, haven't I been through enough pain and now all these other things add to it. Of course losing your child makes everything else seem like nothing but it still hurts. Its still emotionally draining and not to mention stressful.
So why is that? Why is it that it always goes back to her? Is it because I live with the pain every single day of my life and when something hurts me its so close to the surface that it comes out? Is that it? Or is it when something else makes me cry it reminds me of the time in my life that I have cried the most? Or maybe Im trying to play the sympathy card? What is it? Does anyone else go through this or am I just an emotional mess?
I just feel awful. I have what Ann would call a cry hangover and I know its going to be worse tomorrow. I hope I dont wake up with a migraine. Sigh... I wish I had the power to change everything. I know we all do.