Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Happy & Sad Tears

I am in the process of creating a memory box for August 19th Day of Hope to donate to the hospital that all my children were born in.



I just got off the phone with a lady in the perinatal loss department and she was so thankful for my donation. I told her I was donating on behalf of my stillborn daughter that was born there 3 years ago. As the words escaped my mouth I felt myself fighting tears and my throat tightening up. She could hear it in my voice and said she could see it was still hard for me. She genuinely seemed interested in me and helping other families and for that I felt an immediate bond to her. She asked if she could ask me some questions about my experience there and I agreed. I love to talk about Genesis but I hate that I cry. I had not cried in the longest when I mention Genesis to strangers and thought I was over that type of emotional outburst. I was wrong. Her questions were really heartfelt. She asked if my due date was also a special day to me or if it was just her birthday. I told her that both days are special to me but her birthday was the one that really was special to me. I asked if they had professional photographers that do photos now because when I was there I had no photos. There was no
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS) there when I was there. No family photos were taken of my daughter, just one for the medical records which is the one I have. I didn't leave with a memory box or a hat... just a pink blanket. She told me they do have photographers now, not NILMDTS but similar one. She also went on to tell me that they have a new garden for their lost babies. It made me cry more when she said for "our lost babies". They were their extended family for that moment in time and I'm sure the nurses and doctors hurt too when a baby dies. She invited me to go and see the garden and said she would be honored to give me a personal tour and sit out there with me with a cup of coffee. Here this complete stranger is treating me better than my own family ever did over the loss of my daughter. It's just touching. People like her are amazing. I would love to do what she does. To bring comfort to families going through this and since I have been there I can make suggestions that maybe someone who has not gone through may not think of. She also mentioned to me that they are going to have a garden dedication in October for all their babies and asked if she could mail me info on this. Of course I agreed. I thanked her for her help and compassion. Sadly she will be out of town when I donate this box but doing this has brought me such comfort that I think I will make a habit of doing this and hopefully next time I can meet her.

13 comments:

Kalialani said...

This is SO beautiful. I got the chills reading about that woman's kind spirit. I love that she was so open with you and made you feel like family by asking you heartfelt questions and offering to give you a personal tour. I wish there were MANY more like her. The memory box is beautiful and what a special thing you're doing for another family. I love it and I know Genesis is SO proud of you!

Antoinette said...

First of all Genesis has a beautiful space...oxoxoxo...Franchesca did a great job!!!

Second of all that woman is amazing, she made me want to send her a thank you for showing my friend compassion. it is not surprising to me anymore than strangers are doing more than family. i have learned this the hard way. i also think the fact that they have made changes is great too. i have only 4 pictures and 2 were taken from the hospital the other two were from the cellphones because no one told me it was acceptable. that breaks my heart every time i say it and think of it, as i know you can understand. I am happy to follow your blog and to have you as a friend xoxoxo

Carly Marie said...

You are beautiful. Beautiful beautiful beautiful.

Carly Marie said...

And PS.

My Scarlett Sweets just asked me if you blog was where Alice In Wonderland lives :) xx It looks absolutely magical :) x

Tiffany said...

Awww Carly thank you! And Scarlett is such a cutie! She made my day! <3

lis said...

this gave me an idea...what if we got all the BLM to send/donate/make memory boxes or items we could put into memory boxes to donate to our local hospitals. things we would have wanted to have but didn't, cameras, tiny outfits, etc. what do you think?

lis said...

i dont want to leave your blog! its so pretty and this song by john legend is so perfect

Tiffany said...

Lis~ I'm so glad you love Genesis' blog! It feels like such a safe place for us blm huh?

As for your idea, Day of Hope is just that. We encourage all BLM to donate memory boxes like the one above to their local hospitals in memory of their children that are no longer with them. Check out the link in my blog post for August 19th Day of Hope for more info.

Holly said...

Genesis' blog looks great! :) I'm glad you have this space now.

How wonderful the hospital has more things in place for families who have lost their babies. Wish they would've had those things for you.

Franchesca said...

Oh Tiffany, how beautiful is she! It is so encouraging to find people that just get it, the pain, the need to talk about our babies, all of it.

xo

Tiffany said...

Lis~ I'm so glad you love Genesis' blog! It feels like such a safe place for us blm huh?

As for your idea, Day of Hope is just that. We encourage all BLM to donate memory boxes like the one above to their local hospitals in memory of their children that are no longer with them. Check out the link in my blog post for August 19th Day of Hope for more info.

Tiffany said...

This is SO beautiful. I got the chills reading about that woman's kind spirit. I love that she was so open with you and made you feel like family by asking you heartfelt questions and offering to give you a personal tour. I wish there were MANY more like her. The memory box is beautiful and what a special thing you're doing for another family. I love it and I know Genesis is SO proud of you!

Tiffany said...

And PS.

My Scarlett Sweets just asked me if you blog was where Alice In Wonderland lives :) xx It looks absolutely magical :) x

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