Sunday, July 17, 2016

Winks and things

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. As you can imagine life with 4 kids is a bit busy. So some random things.

As usual I get winks here and there but I'm only gonna mention the ones that really stood out to me. Yesterday I was standing in my in laws backyard and out of nowhere a feather fell from the sky. I out my hand up and it fell directly in my hands. Something small but special. I can't help but think it was a little wink from the heavens. Also recently a new app was released called Pokemon Go. Everyone is doing it. Even me lol as I was playing I happened to drive by Genesis park and realized there was a Pokemon check point where players get freebies. Not only that but Genesis actual stone is on the photo of the check point!
That's definitely special. And let but not least I was looking on Pinterest and a tattoo idea for sisters popped up and I saw this. 
4 sisters. Then I thought about my 4 girls... Genesis, G, Exodis and N. I definitely took it as a wink.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

A reminder and a wink

The other day I was out in the front yard cleaning my dogs crate and a beautiful hummingbird came right in front of me. It totally made me smile.

And on another day I saw this sign. 
Then it dawned on me.... July 29th. This is one of Genesis days. This was her EDD. I can't believe it's coming up next month and then after that I'll be looking at the decade mark straight in the face. 

Friday, May 20, 2016

A surprise trigger

The other day I was watching a movie called The Huntsman: Winters War. Like usual, I was busy at home and missed the beginning but I knew it part of it was about a queen (Emily Blunt) who lost a newborn daughter (she was killed in a fire set on purpose). So I was glad I missed that part but didn't know it would come play a part later on in the movie.
 **spoiler alert**
In the ending of the movie the queen is dying. She's laying on the floor and she turns and looks behind her. She sees herself holding her newborn daughter again. And she smiles even though she's dying. See photo below:
I cannot tell you how this hit me so hard. I'm crying now just looking at the photo. In the movie years and years had passed and yet this was her dying thought. She never forgot her baby. It really hit home with me. Yes I have 4 rainbows to raise and love while I'm here. And yes I am afraid of death. I'm afraid of dying. But I do have one happy aspect of it. I will be reunited with Genesis and Exodus. I will finally get to know my girls. I will never forget her and even if I'm old and grey and have lost my mind... I will think of them on my deathbed knowing I'll be with them so soon. 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

A Magical Mothers Day

This morning when I was doing my workout I opened the door to let in some fresh morning air. Then suddenly I saw something moving by the door. I looked and saw a hummingbird hovering right next to the door. It wasn't flying by. It was stopped in front of our door and hovering for a couple seconds and looking inside. My cat Bailey just happened to be right there as well and was just watching this hummingbird flutter by the doorknob. It was amazing. I just knew it was a wink from Genesis on this Mother's Day. She made it so special. I wasn't quick enough to take a photo as it happened but I got a picture immediately after showing the goosebumps I got in that moment and also where I saw her. 

Speaking of special, it was my first Mother's Day with 4 rainbow babies. It was wonderful. My husband helped the kids buy me a little gift. It was signed by all 6 kids. How beautiful.
And my husband wrote me a very touching post on Facebook. 
He didn't mention Genesis or Exodus my name but he put "ALL" our kids on his post twice and I knew what he meant by it. He mentioned them without mentioning them. And that's ok. The poin is they were included and it meant so much to me. 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

It happened

A friend announced her pregnancy... And it's a girl. So this is my first girl pregnancy announcement since having N. I honestly didn't know how I would react to girl pregnancy announcements now that I have two daughters. Surprisingly it still sort of made my heart flutter... I sort of hurt a little bit. But nothing like before. But the fact that it still hurt surprised me. Will it change over time? Who knows... 

Friday, March 18, 2016

The winks continue

The day after her birthday a friend saw this: 
We also went to universal studios and I saw this:
And one of my lovely BLM friends was randomly on Instagram and found this:
Amazing! 

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

More winks

I saw two hearts today.


And my sister was sitting in traffic and saw this and texted me this photo:
She is very near right now.
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