Friday, October 31, 2014


Yes. Real tears. I'm crying right now. My awesome brother posted this beautiful message into instagram. It moved me to tears. Sorry as always I blur out the rainbow's faces but it was so beautiful I just had to share. 
I know he revers like I do. His soul will remind him even when no one else does. His heart gets heavy like this around anniversaries and a big one is coming up on Thanksgiving Day. I just cannot express how much this means to me.
He is the only one pretty much in my family who will do this on the regular. He has such a special relationship with my kids. Even Genesis. I know he can sense her. This just was a wonderful surprise to see. 

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Capture Your Grief: Day 30


My life intentions are to lead a full life. Radiating love. Letting beauty and wisdom from the Earth to saturate my soul. To remember that value has nothing to do with money. Wealth has everything to do with family. Feel the magic that swirls around us in the very air we breathe. And of course to let Genesis name emit from my heart so that her name be spoken from mouths even long after I'm gone. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Rainbow in the horizon

I took this photo this morning while taking the kids to school. It has such meaning for me. 

Capture Your Grief: Day 29


I definitely reflect back on my life. Prior to having children, having kids, and now. I sort of step outside myself and look at the timeline of my grief from that fateful day till today. My have things changed. My grief is still there... Ever evolving. But one thing remains true that I didn't know till long after. When Genesis was born... That event marked the beginning of my life. My real life.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Capture Your Grief: Day 27


There is a quote that has always stuck with me. 

"Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms. She is breathing, but she is dying. She may look young, but inside she has become ancient. She smiles, but her heart sobs. She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she IS NOT, all at once. She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity." - Author unknown 

This cannot be more true. Behind these eyes is an old soul. Not because of anything I have done, but because of Genesis. Im ancient inside. Crumbling ruins. But at the same time that in itself is beautiful. Genesis taught me so much in her short stay. So very much. More than I can put into words. She taught me more than someone could teach me in a hundred lifetimes. She taught me how to be an amazing mother. Provider. Protector. She made me smarter and more informed. Essentially, she taught me the meaning of life. These eyes have seen so much. Felt so much. Cried so much. These eyes that laid eyes on my beautiful baby girl have never again seen the same vision since then. My eyes have been opened to another world. She made me wise beyond my years.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Capture Your Grief: Day 27


Over the years I have learned to be more comfortable in expressing what is in my heart. I still feel out situations but I am more inclined to speak Genesis name. So more likely than not I will tell you I have 4 kids, not 3.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Capture Your Grief: Day 26

Healing Ritual

I try to connect to nature daily. Even if it's just staring at the clouds, breathing fresh air, earthing or feeling the wind or sun on my skin. It grounds me and brings me so much peace. 

In a side note I took this photo this morning specifically for today's post. To my surprise I was shocked what I captured. If you look right next to my fae I see what looks like a baby. I see its face complete with eyes, a nose and mouth. I see its hands going up to its mouth just like a baby does. If you look further you almost sort of see an out reached arm. I can see the thumb and hand almost holding the bottom of the baby. Almost like its holding the baby out to me. These signs are just incredible and undeniable. 
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