Wednesday, October 19, 2016

A beautiful BLM reached out last week and asked me if she could make something for Exodus. Of course I said yes! It arrived just a few days ago and it was even more beautiful than I expected. This means so much to me as this is Exodus' first piece of mail ever. 

Monday, October 10, 2016

Another Visit

 I was just sitting in the living room and saw something flutter by the balcony door. It was another hummingbird coming right up into our balcony and up to the window. I just know this girl is saying hi.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Nature is amazing

As I was driving home today I saw a tiny rainbow in the sky (left side of photo). I couldn't get a good look as I was driving so I just took a bunch of pictures. Once I got home I noticed that the rainbow was an entire circle! It looks like it was around the sun. I think this is called a sun dog. Ive never seen one before. It was absolutely stunning, miraculous even. Amazing things like this def make me think about my girls.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Another Rainbow in the Horizon

Remember my neighbor from this post? Im happy to share that she is pregnant with her rainbow baby and that she is expecting another girl! Im so thrilled for her.

Walk To Remember 2016

Today was the Walk to Remember. It was the first walk in which I walked for both my girls. It was also N's first walk. As usual, my wonderful brother came with  me to show his support. I am always so moved by his support, and of course so thankful. Also this year there seems to have been some changes in how the walk is run. I really don't care to get into specifics nor do I want to be accused of bashing this organization... but I feel like perhaps this might be the last time I attend this particular walk. Im looking into seeing if any neighboring walks operate the same way. It really is a shame. That's all I have to say about that. 
As far as the actual walk, we had a lovely time. Im almost a decade out from losing Genesis and I def handle these events a lot more different than I used to. I didn't cry. Although when they read a poem and the mother started to cry, It did tug at my heartstrings. I definitely have my arms more full of children than I did before, but thats not to say that they somehow offset the loss of my two daughters. They simply made life a bit sweeter. At any rate, we will see what next years walk holds. Only time will till.

Friday, October 7, 2016

A New Chapter

I realize I haven't mentioned this here yet. Last month my husband got a vasectomy.We had been discussing it for some time and agreed this was the right thing for our family. It took forever to finally get it done as we had to jump through a ton of hoops from the insurance. 

Having said that... Im not gonna lie. I have mixed feelings about this.  I mean, Im 100% sure we are done having babies.

Ive grown 6 babies in my womb. Gave birth to 5. Nursed 3. And Im raising 4 kids. Pregnancy isn't easy for me. Its really a horrible time for my physically and going through it while taking care of kids is just impossible. I literally cannot do anything and fell like absolute crud the whole time. I want to finally be done with diapers, and teething, and all the baby stuff and move on to the older kid stuff. I cannot wait until they are all in school,

BUT, there is magic that comes with pregnancy. Its a very beautiful time. Childbirth is absolutely a miraculous moment. Nursing is an incredible bond. And seeing your children grow at home is irreplaceable. 

So although we are done... I will still miss the pregnant belly. I will miss feeling kicks within my womb. I will miss meeting a snuggly newborn for the first time. I will miss that tiny bundle all cozied up and smelling as fresh as could be. I will miss the "goo's" and the "gaa's" and all those cute firsts. But it is on to a new chapter. 

So Bittersweet

N playing with the toys we bought for Genesis. Sigh. She will be the last baby. The rainbow to ever play with these. After she's outgrown these toys I will be adding them to Genesis memory box. I can't ever see myself getting rid of these toys.
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