Wednesday, October 22, 2014
This year not only have I made my spirituality a priority but also my health. It's so easy as a mom to put everyone first before yourself. Sadly I have neglected myself for years. I was able to finally get back on track this year to make sure everything is as it should be. After all I need to make sure that I am here for many years to come to watch all my children grow up.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
When Genesis died I was married to my first husband. Initially I thought her death brought us closer. Looking back, I'm not so sure. I don't ever recall talking about what happened or Genesis or coping with the loss. I wish I could tell you that's why he walked out on me 5 months later while I was pregnant with our first rainbow baby, but the truth is that I still don't know why he left.
Even though I couldn't see it then, him leaving was a blessing in disguise. It was the beginning to a path that lead me to my current husband and love of my life. Marlon came into the picture with a disadvantage. He met me after Genesis had died. I remember when we met I let him know right away I have two kids. Most guys would have turned the other way but he didn't. As we grew closer I told him I actually had 3 kids but one was in paradise. I had got to this point with one other man before and when he knew of Genesis he decided it wasn't going to work. Funny, I always knew dating as a single mom would be hard but I never thought the one who wasn't physically here would be the issue. But still Marlon stayed and got to know all 3 kids. Obviously it was a little different process getting to know about Genesis legacy. Through the years he has proven he not only is our 3 rainbow's father but Genesis as well.
It's crazy to me that the one person who went through this with me couldn't offer support, but this man that I met 5 years after Genesis birth/death has been my rock through it all. And loves her just as I do. I am beyond blessed to have this man as the father to all my children and to call him my husband.
Monday, October 20, 2014
This year I discovered how important breathing is. I mean REALLY breathing. Being still. Being conscious of your every breath. Connecting with that moment in time and letting each breath fill your lungs. Savoring that sweet oxygen that releases your every tension and worry for that one breath. Yes mediation. What a grounding force. So very healing.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
First and foremost I gives precious family my heart and all my love. It took a lot to get the family I have today and I don't take it for granted. I love harder, deeper, stronger than I probably would have before.
But not only do I have love for my family... I also emit it and share it with whoever crosses my path and the world. Not just to people but to animals and he Earth. just ever aspect of life. After going through losing your child you get filled with despair and darkness. It took me a long time to grow from the ashes of my life and to be able to offer a gift out of heartbreak. But this way her death was not in vain. Something beautiful emerged from destruction. And to be able to offer this now is such a magical blessing.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
I am so grateful for my family. My 3 precious rainbow babies and my amazing husband. I truly am blessed.
I'm a little late
Lately I have been exploring myself. Exploring my mind. My spirituality. I'm on a beautiful path and aim to keep waking down this new found way of living.